Actus Reus
by madeleine68
Summary: Abbie is the new girl. She and Olivia both have secrets. Friendship between Abbie, Alex, and Olivia. Slightly unconventional, but I'm giving it a try. AU, with established E/O and A/T. THE LAST CHAPTER IS UP! Review for more!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Abbie's not mine. Olivia's not mine. Elliot's not mine. Alex's not mine. Trevor's not mine . . . are you noticing a pattern? They all belong to DICK WOLF. Not me. **_**C'est la vie**_**.**

**This story is going to be a bit AU. This is my first SVU/Mothership crossover, so please be nice. E/O and A/T (for those of you who hate Langan, I know he's scum, but deal with it) are already established. Abbie has just moved to New York from Texas. And in regards to the title, I promise it will become clear later on.**

Abbie stared uncertainly at the intimidating-looking building before her. Everything in New York City was so _big_. She'd always been a small-town girl, and she knew there were at least eight times as many people in this school than her old one. And everyone had known each other for the last few months. Nothing was worse than transferring in the middle of the school year.

Her father rested a hand on her shoulder and Abbie jumped involuntarily. "Come on, princess," he said in his deep, Texan drawl. "Let's go."

Resisting the urge to take her father's hand, she followed him into the school. She didn't want to look like a little kid. She was stronger than that. She needed a fresh start and acting like a baby wasn't the way to get it.

They stood awkwardly in the main office, which was huge. At her old school, there had only been one office to begin with, but in this school, there were three, this being the largest one. Her father spoke with one of the secretaries for a moment and Abbie looked around, taking in her surroundings. There was a boy sitting in the office, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He looked to be a senior or a sophomore at the least, and Abbie instinctively stepped back. He looked like one of those outlaw bikers that seemed so common in this city, clad in a leather jacket and black jeans, with rings through his nose, ears, eyebrows, and lips.

The office door opened and in swaggered a tall girl with dark hair and big chocolate eyes. Abbie noticed a dark bruise on her left wrist and tried not to stare at it. Abbie had her own secrets and she was sure this girl would be just as unwilling to share hers as she was.

The girl sauntered over to the front desk with a scowl. "Apparently, I'm supposed to see Ms. Grayson."

The secretary rolled her eyes. "Again? Olivia, this is third time you've been in this _month_."

"Such is life," snapped the girl – _Olivia_. She sighed. "I was late. Again. And that son of a bitch Plummer sent me down here. So either let me talk to the VP or let me sit down, relax, and read a book."

The secretary raised an eyebrow and Abbie could see that she was trying to hide her amusement. "Ms. Grayson is in a meeting, so why don't you hang out here?"

Olivia smirked and plopped down in the chair beside the intimidating-looking boy. "Hey, James," she said to him. "What are you in for?"

He looked at her. "Skipping again. I was stupid."

Olivia tsk-tsked. "Stupid is getting caught." She looked up and noticed Abbie, who had instinctively stepped closer to her father. "You new?"

Abbie nodded. "Just moved here from Texas."

"How come you moved in the middle of the year?"

Abbie shifted uncomfortably, a bit nervous. What was wrong with her? The old Abbie Carmichael didn't *get* nervous. She was always perfectly in control of every situation. Always. But now, she was actually _afraid_. Finally, she managed to arrange her expression into one of nonchalance. "Um, my dad got transferred," she lied.

Olivia shrugged. "What's your name?"

"Abbie," she replied, then turned away when she felt her father's hand on her shoulder.

The secretary handed Abbie her timetable and gave her a smile. "Here you go, Abigail. We're halfway into period one, so it wouldn't make much sense for you to go to your first class now. Olivia, why don't you show Abigail where her classes are? It'll give you something productive to do."

Olivia smirked and put away her book. "Sure."

Abbie cast one last apprehensive glance at her father. She would have normally given him a kiss on the cheek, but she wanted to look grown up in front of Olivia, so she just said, "Bye."

He knelt down and gave her a kiss on the crown of her head anyway. "Have a good day, Abbie. Your mother will be here to pick you up at three."

"What do you have first?" asked Olivia as Abbie's father left.

Abbie checked her timetable. "Um, French." She made a face. "Then science, and after lunch, math and English."

"Cool. We have science and English together." She made an elaborate gesture. "Would you like the grand tour?"

"Sure," said Abbie, following Olivia out of the office.

Olivia led her around the first floor, pointing out the music room, the art room, the small gym, the big gym, the cafeteria, and the French room. She showed Abbie the English hallway and the math and science wings of the school. When she led Abbie to the library, Abbie stood transfixed at the door. The library was huge! There was a computer lab with forty or fifty computers and shelves and shelves of books.

Olivia stopped, too. "You're a big reader?"

Abbie nodded.

Olivia gave her a shy smile. "Me, too. Alex and I sometimes spend lunchtime here. She actually studies. Me? I just read."

"Alex?" repeated Abbie blankly.

"Oh, she's my best friend. I've known her since kindergarten."

Even though it was illogical, Abbie suddenly felt a pang of envy. Everyone at this school knew each other and had friends. Abbie would always be the odd one out.

Olivia caught her eye and gave her a smile. "You can have lunch with us if you want. Actually, we both have science next, so you can just stick with me."

Abbie smiled back. "Thanks."

Olivia took Abbie upstairs and showed her the guidance office, the drama room, the English hallway, the history room, and the geography room. She showed Abbie where her locker was and helped Abbie arrange her things neatly in it.

By then, the bell had rung signaling second period, and both girls grabbed their books before making their way to the science classroom. "You can sit next to me," Olivia told Abbie, unloading her books a desk at the front of the room.

The other kids started to file in and Abbie noticed that they weren't much different from the kids at her old school. Sure, they looked a bit more hip, a bit more sophisticated, but they were roughly the same.

A boy tapped Abbie rudely on the shoulder. "Excuse me, new kid, but this is _my _seat."

Olivia opened her mouth to say something, but Abbie beat her to it. "Go find a new one," she said sharply.

"I always sit here," he informed her.

"Not anymore," Abbie told him before turning back to Olivia, who was watching her with an appreciative expression on her face.

"Impressive," she commented.

"Sorry. Was I out of line?" Abbie asked with a smirk.

"No. Cameron's annoying anyway. You know the one who thinks he's smarter than everyone else? That's Cameron."

Abbie laughed. "I think we're going to get along."

Olivia smiled. "Tell me about Texas."

Abbie shrugged. "We lived on a ranch, so the most rural of all rural areas. It's much warmer there . . . and quieter . . . and we had horses."

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"Yeah, two annoying brothers. One's at NYU and one's in grade eleven. You an only child?"

Olivia nodded imperceptibly.

"You're lucky."

Olivia shrugged. "I wouldn't mind a brother." But Abbie could see that the other girl didn't want to talk about herself, so she didn't ask anything else.

"Ah, Ms. Benson," said their teacher sarcastically as he walked into the room. "Glad you decided to grace us with your presence."

"Believe me, I wouldn't if I had a choice," replied Olivia through gritted teeth. She leaned over to whisper in Abbie's ear, "That's Mr. Prinze. He's a real pain in the ass. But such is life."

Mr. Prinze came over to Abbie. "Are you Abigail?" he asked, looking down his nose at her.

Abbie nodded. "Abbie."

He gave Olivia a disapproving look, then handed Abbie a textbook. "Olivia can catch you up. Or did you miss too much class for that?" he asked Olivia sarcastically.

"Bastard," she muttered, but not loud enough for him to hear. She flipped open her binder and took out a few pages. "Here, Abbie. Notes. Copy them."

"Yes, boss." Abbie obediently started to transcribe the notes into her own notebook. "I guess our teacher isn't particularly fond of you."

Olivia snorted. "That's the understatement of the year. He hates how I can miss so much school and still be at the top of the class."

"Why do you miss so much school?" asked Abbie carefully.

Olivia shrugged. "Life happens," she said vaguely, and Abbie dropped the subject.

She copied the notes in silence and was pleased to notice that she knew all the material; she'd learned it months ago at her old school. This class wasn't going to be too difficult.

When the lunchtime bell rang, Olivia led Abbie downstairs to the cafeteria. "We usually sit here," said Olivia, sitting down at a table in the corner of the cafeteria. "It's quieter."

Abbie sat down beside Olivia as a tall, slim blonde wearing designer jeans and a tight-fitting blue shirt walked over to them. "Hey, Liv," she said, running a hand through her hair. She looked at Abbie. "Who's this?"

"This is Abbie," explained Olivia in a voice that left no room for negotiations. "She's new. She's hanging with us."

The blonde gave Abbie a smile and held out her hand, a gesture that seemed odd coming from a girl their age. "I'm Alex," she said, shaking Abbie's hand and taking a seat beside from Olivia.

Two boys approached the table and sat down across from Alex. One was tall and muscular, with sandy brown hair and blue eyes. The other was darker and his expression was slightly less friendly than the other boy's. "Hey, Liv," said the first boy, squeezing her shoulder. "How was it?"

Olivia winced.

"That bad, huh?" said Elliot sympathetically.

Abbie had no idea what they were talking about, but the boys made her a bit uncomfortable. She looked at Olivia.

Olivia seemed to remember her presence and cleared her throat. "This is Abbie. She's hanging with us. Abbie, this is Elliot and that's Trevor. Elliot's my boyfriend and Trevor is Alex's."

Elliot gave her a smile and Trevor gave her a brief nod. Abbie shoved her backpack under the table and took out her sandwich.

"Did you bring or buy?" Elliot asked, directing his question to Olivia.

Olivia smirked. "Neither."

Elliot rolled his eyes. "Let's split a pizza."

"I'm fine," said Olivia firmly.

Elliot shrugged. "Fine. I'll get a pizza and you're free to have some."

Olivia lightly punched his shoulder. "You stubborn son of a bitch."

He laughed. "From you, that's a compliment."

Olivia looked pleased with herself. "Get in line before it gets too long."

Elliot looked at Trevor. "Coming?"

Trevor nodded and followed his friend to the cafeteria line.

"Did your daddy make your lunch for you?" Olivia asked Abbie sweetly, but there was no malice in her tone, only playfulness and something else that it took Abbie a moment to identify – something that sounded remarkably like _longing_.

Abbie swallowed the food in her mouth and shook her head. "My mom did. But she usually doesn't. I overslept this morning and didn't have time to make it myself."

Olivia smirked. "I overslept every day last week."

Alex laughed. "You got suspended. That's different."

"No, pedantic one. They're cause and effect. But the question is, which is which?"

Alex laughed again. "So you miss too much school and your punishment is a suspension."

"How ironic," commented Abbie dryly.

"How ridiculous," said Olivia, snickering.

The boys returned with a box of pizza and sat down at the table.

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Where did that come from?" she asked suspiciously.

Elliot shrugged. "We figured we might as well get a box. They ordered, like, twenty of these from Domino's for the football team."

"And how did you get one?" asked Alex, rummaging around in her purse and putting on a pair of black-framed glasses.

Elliot gave her a sly smile. "I have connections."

"Translation: he stole it," explained Olivia, but that didn't stop her from grabbing a piece and wolfing it down.

"Whoa, slow down, Liv! You're gonna get sick," her boyfriend told her.

Olivia shrugged. "I'm hungry," she said through a mouthful of pizza.

Alex curled her hands into fists. "That woman," she muttered.

Abbie stared at them, feeling left out. She had no idea what they were talking about. "What?"

Olivia shot her a death glare. "Nothing."

Abbie went back to her sandwich, trying to ignore the twinge of pain that ignited in her chest at the exclusion. She tried to pretend it wasn't personal. After all, none of them had any obligation to include her in anything, but they were anyway. And Olivia . . . she was an enigma, to say the least.

"Alex, did you finish your homework from law?" asked Trevor, cutting into Abbie's thoughts.

Alex rolled her eyes. "Don't I always?" Trevor smiled sheepishly as Alex slid her notebook across the table. "You owe me," she added.

"I think I can make it up to you . . ." he said with a suggestive grin.

Alex laughed and Olivia rolled her eyes. "Let's keep it PG."

"Oh, you're one to talk," said Trevor, but he was smiling.

Abbie listened to their banter without saying anything herself. She was a bit uncomfortable in this situation. She'd had a boyfriend at her old school, but she would just as soon forget him. And what he had done. The way Alex and Olivia were chatting with their boyfriends was reminding her of her own misfortune, and she wasn't comfortable with that. Even some 1500 miles away, she would never be able to escape him.

**I hope my first crossover attempt wasn't too bad. Review if you'd like the next chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry if Abbie seems a little out of character; I'm not really used to writing her and I'm still getting the hang of it. I think I'm more comfortable with Alex and Olivia, but I'm expanding my horizons. And Abbie is my favorite ADA from the mothership. Enjoy!**

Abbie's mother was waiting at the front for her when the bell rang. "How was school, honey?" she asked as Abbie climbed into the passenger seat.

Abbie considered the question. She was glad to have made some friends – Olivia and Alex had been very nice to her. Even Elliot and Trevor were friendly. The classes were relatively easy and none of her teachers were particularly mean to her. The school was large, but Olivia had stuck by her side for most of the day.

But then there were the memories. The boys had reminded her of her old boyfriend, whom she was trying so hard to forget. And she was worried about Olivia and frustrated that she didn't know what was wrong. Abbie was a person of action, not empty words – when she learned of an injustice, she would fight tooth and nail to right the wrong.

So she just shrugged her shoulders as she buckled her seatbelt. "There's no point in having a car in New York, Mom. No one else does."

Her mother laughed. "You can walk home with your friends if you'd prefer, Abbie. I just thought you might like a ride today."

Abbie leaned her head back on the seat and sighed. She closed her eyes and turned away from her mother, indicating that the conversation was over.

When she got home, she went straight to her bedroom. That was another thing that would take some getting used to – when she'd lived in Texas, they'd lived on a large ranch with acres of space. The apartment wasn't cramped by any means, but it was much smaller than what she was used to, and there was only one floor.

She climbed onto her bed and lay down, staring at the ceiling, trying to sort out her thoughts. She was exhausted, but she wouldn't – _couldn't _– sleep. Every night since it happened, she'd woken up screaming, nightmares assaulting her from every which way. Her mother had had to come into her bedroom and soothe away her terrors, holding her and rocking her in her arms like she was a child. But their move was going to be a fresh start. They'd wanted to get as far away as they could, and they'd succeeded. Abbie wasn't going to let her demons follow her here.

* * *

The next day at school, Abbie suffered through a French class. French had always been her least favorite subject, but Alex was in her class, and the two sat beside each other. Abbie wanted to ask the blonde about Olivia, but she held back, knowing the question would be unwelcome. She didn't want to alienate Olivia just when they'd started to be friends.

She didn't really have much to say to Alex, which was fine, because Alex was actually paying attention to what Mme. Rochman was saying. She was actually taking notes and raising her hand to answer questions. She'd given Abbie her notes to copy and Abbie was trying to focus on doing so, but French was so boring, and it was hard.

Finally, the bell rang for period two, and Abbie all but ran to her science class.

Olivia looked up when Abbie plopped down in the seat beside her. "Wow," she said mildly. "Someone's eager to get to class."

Abbie shrugged and pulled out her textbook. She noticed a water blister on Olivia's hand as her friend put away her backpack. She pointed to it. "What did you do to your hand?" she asked.

Olivia's head snapped up and she pulled her hand away. "Nothing," she said quickly.

Abbie watched her for another moment, then dropped the subject.

Olivia turned her back on Abbie and opened her own textbook. She started to copy out last night's homework questions. Abbie didn't want to upset her, so she didn't say a word. Olivia was definitely hiding something, but it wasn't Abbie's place to pry. She didn't want to destroy their friendship before it had even begun.

* * *

After school, Alex invited Abbie and Olivia over to her place. They walked the three blocks to Alex's penthouse apartment.

Abbie was impressed. She'd figured that Alex's family was well-off, but she hadn't realized they were _this _affluent. The apartment was huge and immaculate, and everything in it was white. Abbie was careful to take off her shoes and neatly arrange them by the door before going inside.

Alex made them popcorn and grabbed them all Diet Cokes, and they lounged on the bed in Alex's room. Abbie's family wasn't poor by any stretch of the imagination, but Alex's walk-in closet was at least as big as Abbie's bedroom. She had a canopy bed with a purple duvet and her walls were a light turquoise. She had her own flat screen television and a pink laptop computer. On her dresser was a hodgepodge of stuffed animals, old teddy bears and china dolls and a bunch of Minnie Mice. There were five American Girl dolls beside the Minnies and Abbie couldn't help but stare at them. They looked like collector's items and they were beautiful.

Olivia followed Abbie's gaze and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, the princess has a huge doll collection," she said, giving Alex a playful grin. "She still plays with them sometimes. See, that's why Felicity's hair is in pigtails and Elizabeth is wearing a riding outfit. Alex has three drawers full of accessories and clothes and furniture for them." She strode to her friend's dresser and showed Abbie.

"Be quiet," Alex told her, but even she had to smile. She pressed the drawer firmly shut, grazing Olivia's injured hand, eliciting a whimper from the brunette. "Sorry, Liv," said Alex immediately.

Abbie watched the dynamic unfolding before her. She didn't understand the nonchalance with which Alex treated Olivia's injuries. Then she felt left out again, because Alex clearly knew something that she didn't.

Olivia recovered quickly and smiled impishly. With a mischievous gleam in her eye, she grabbed one of Alex's dolls, the one with short, sandy hair.

"Hey!" cried Alex indignantly. "Leave Nellie alone."

Olivia laughed and rocked the doll gently in her arms, and Abbie knew she was doing it just to show off and to tease Alex. And it was working.

"Liv!" Alex pouted. "Don't touch my dolls."

Olivia made her best puppy eyes and clutched the doll more tightly to her chest. "But she's so _perfect_," she said with a smirk. "We have to _im_perfect her."

Alex put her glasses back on. "Imperfect isn't a verb. It's an adjective. You're misusing the word."

Olivia sighed theatrically and rolled her eyes. "Come on, I've already had one boring lecture on the proper use of the English language today."

"Put back my doll," ordered Alex in a voice that left no room for argument.

Olivia pouted but obediently replaced the doll on Alex's dresser. "Remember when we were little and we used to play with them? And you always wanted to make them into princesses."

Alex smiled. "And you always wanted to make them into, what, gangsters or something."

Olivia grinned. "I was a very creative child," she said proudly.

Then they seemed to remember Abbie's presence and stopped abruptly. Abbie was feeling a bit left out, because they were talking about times they had shared but she hadn't. But then she felt bad about disturbing their reminiscence. It just reminded her once again that, no matter how nice Alex and Olivia were to her, she was an outsider.

Alex started rummaging around in her closet and came up with a board game. "Let's play Clue," she suggested.

Olivia grinned. "That's my favorite game," she told Abbie.

"And she _always _wins," added Alex, starting to set up the game. "I want Miss Scarlett."

Olivia grinned. "I call Col. Mustard."

"I'll be Mr. Green," said Abbie. Clue was one of her favorite games too, and she was pretty good at it.

Olivia dealt the cards and Abbie set up the board. Alex went to locate writing utensils for them, then returned with three pencils. She offered them to Olivia. "Choose one, boss."

Smirking, Olivia took two pencils and handed one to Abbie. Alex rolled her eyes and sat down beside her friend. "You're incorrigible," she told Olivia.

The brunette grinned. "Thank you."

Alex rolled her eyes again.

Abbie looked at the cards in her hand. Great, almost all character cards. She had Professor Plum, Col. Mustard, Miss Scarlett, Mrs. Peacock, and Mr. Green.

Olivia won the game, of course. "I love this game!" she crowed. "Anyone up for a rematch?"

"No," said Alex firmly, shaking her head.

Olivia pouted. "You're the one who wanted to play."

"Yeah, _once_."

The old saying goes that three's a crowd, and Abbie completely understood. The two of them were clearly more comfortable with each other than they were with her and their friendly banter was making Abbie feel left out. But she didn't know how to join the conversation without feeling awkward, or like she was intruding. She was glad to be invited over to Alex's place, but she still felt awkward. She didn't really know either of these girls and while they'd been kind to her, they were still unfamiliar. They had a history that didn't include her.

Alex started to clean up the game and Abbie helped her. Heaving a theatrical sigh, Olivia sat back on her heels and crossed her arms over her chest defiantly.

Alex ignored her and smiled at Abbie before putting away the game. "Do you want to play cards?" she asked, directing her question at Abbie.

"Sure," agreed Abbie. "Do you know how to play Pig?"

Olivia perked her head up with interest. "What's that?"

"I thought you just wanted to sulk," said Alex, but Abbie saw a mischievous glint in her baby blue eyes.

"No! I want to play."

Abbie and Alex looked at each other and laughed.

Abbie dealt them each four cards and explained the game. "The point is to get four of the same card. So the first person picks up a card from the deck and if they don't want it, they pass it to the second person. If they do want it, they can switch it with one of their own cards and pass that card to the second person. The third person is the trash can and they just put the cards at the side. When you have four of the same card, you stick your tongue out. If you see someone sticking their tongue out, you have to do it too. The last person to stick their tongue out gets a letter. When you get P-I-G, you lose."

"Sounds complicated," complained Olivia.

"Feel free not to play," Abbie told her.

Olivia looked surprised for a moment, then smiled sheepishly. "Sounds fun," she amended.

Abbie grinned. "Would you like to go first?" she asked sweetly.

"Okay," agreed Olivia, crossing her legs and folding her hands demurely in her lap.

Alex laughed. "You can be second," she offered Abbie.

Abbie agreed and Olivia picked up the first card. She discarded it and passed it to Abbie, who passed it to Alex. They played for a few moments before Abbie noticed that Alex had her tongue out. She stuck hers out too and they both looked at Olivia, waiting for her to catch on and trying not to laugh. Finally, she looked up and groaned. "_Guys_."

Alex and Abbie looked at each other and burst into laughter. Olivia pouted for a moment, then sheepishly joined in. "I get a letter," she said. "But next time, it'll be your turn!"

"Can I go first?" asked Alex.

Surprisingly, Olivia deferred to Abbie, who nodded. "I'll go last."

This time, Olivia was on the ball, and she noticed that Abbie's tongue was out before Alex did. She wasn't as good at staying quiet, though, and she cackled triumphantly. "You get a letter, Alex!" she crowed.

Olivia and Alex both ended up getting P-I-G and Abbie won. "Told you I was good at this," she told Olivia, smirking as Olivia folded her arms and sulked.

Alex clearly took pity on her friend. "It's okay," she said sweetly, then turned to Abbie. "Olivia just likes to be the best at things. Don't take it personally."

Abbie laughed. "I wasn't, but thanks anyway."

The front door opened and Abbie heard footsteps coming toward Alex's bedroom. She instinctively stiffened, then relaxed when she realized it was probably just Alex's parents. Then there was a knock on the door and Alex pushed the bowl of popcorn under her bed. "Come in," she called, then murmured to Abbie, "My parents are on this health food kick. I had to sneak in the popcorn."

"No," Olivia corrected her. "_I _sneaked in the popcorn for you."

"Snuck," Alex said automatically, then brought a finger to her lips. "Shh."

"Alex?" The door opened and a tall, blonde woman with fair skin and baby blue eyes that matched Alex's stood in the doorway. "Oh, you have friends over," said the woman who Abbie assumed was Alex's mother. She smiled at Abbie. "I know Olivia, but who's this?"

Abbie stood up and held out her hand, knowing instinctively that she should. "I'm Abbie Carmichael," she introduced herself.

"It's nice to meet you," said Mrs. Cabot.

"It's nice to meet you, too, ma'am," said Abbie politely, like the well brought up Southern girl she was.

Alex looked up at her mother. "Hi." She clearly didn't appreciate the intrusion.

Her mother smiled indulgently. "I wanted to tell you that your father and I are going out for dinner tonight, so you'll be on your own. But if you have friends over, it doesn't matter so much."

"I'm not staying," said Olivia quickly, checking her watch. "My mother – I should go. Bye, Alex. See you tomorrow, Abbie."

Alex and Abbie stared after Olivia, both confused at the abrupt departure. As Alex's mother left the room, Abbie looked to Alex. "What was that all about?"

Alex shrugged, clearly uncomfortable. "You'll have to ask her."

Abbie sighed in frustration, then immediately felt bad, because she was a guest in Alex's home and she shouldn't be asking Alex to speak behind her friend's back. But how could she be part of their group if Alex and Olivia refused to let her?

But then, it occurred to Abbie that that just might be the point.

**Review if you want chapter three!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed. (Yes, I do read them, and every one makes my day!)**

The next morning, Abbie got to school early because her father needed to go to a business meeting before dropping her off and it was raining outside. If she'd been at her old school, she would have wandered the halls, but she didn't feel like getting lost in this vast building, so she stayed within her comfort zone. She went to her locker and put away her backpack, then went to the washroom to fix her hair, which had gotten wet in the rain and was frizzing at the ends.

When she opened the washroom door, she heard the quiet but unmistakable sound of muffled sobbing. She wondered who, besides her, would be here so early; it was only 7:30 and school didn't start until 9:00. She glanced under the bathroom stall door and was astonished to see a pair of tattered black sneakers that she recognized immediately. It was _Olivia_.

She hesitated for a minute, wondering whether she should slink quietly away or whether she should tell her friend that she was here and ask her what was wrong. She knew Olivia wouldn't welcome the intrusion, but what else could she do? Bracing herself, Abbie rapped gently on the stall door. "Olivia?"

The crying ceased immediately and a hoarse voice said uncertainly, "Alex?"

Abbie tried to push away the pang of sadness that she felt at Olivia's question. "No, it's Abbie."

She could hear Olivia sigh. "Go away."

"I'm not going anywhere," Abbie told her, bristling.

Olivia didn't say anything.

"You know, I'm just as stubborn as you are."

"Leave me alone!" Olivia's voice had risen an octave, and this was more of a plea than an order.

For just a moment, doubt flashed through Abbie's mind, but she shook it off. "Olivia," she said in a gentler voice. "What happened?"

"Nothing!" snapped Olivia. "I'm fine, Abbie. Get out."

Abbie didn't budge. She stood right in front of the door so Olivia would see her feet, so her friend would know she wasn't leaving.

After a good five minutes of silence, Olivia finally unlocked the stall door and Abbie hid her smirk. She'd won this one and she knew it.

But her satisfaction vanished the second she saw her friend. Olivia's cheeks were stained with tears and her eyes were red and puffy. Her right eye was blackened and there were finger shaped bruises on her neck. "Olivia," said Abbie quietly. "What happened?"

Olivia's chocolate eyes flashed with anger. "Nothing!"

"Olivia –"

"Abbie, if you want to be my friend, then _fuck off_. Otherwise, we're done."

And she stormed out of the washroom, leaving Abbie staring after her and wondering what she should do – what she _could _do. _If_ she could do anything at all.

* * *

Abbie spent French class fidgeting in her seat, waiting for Mme. Rochman to stop talking so she could ask Alex a question. She needed to know what was up with Olivia and she figured Alex was more likely to know than she was. Finally, their teacher set them to some textbook work.

Abbie tapped Alex on the shoulder. The blonde looked up and snapped, "What?"

Abbie raised an eyebrow. "Someone's in a bad mood."

Alex sighed. "Sorry. I meant, yes."

The brunette hid her smile. "What's up with Olivia?"

Alex hesitated. "I probably shouldn't be talking to you about it."

"You're not," Abbie pointed out.

Alex rolled her eyes. "I meant, it's Olivia's business, not ours. And I don't even know everything."

Abbie was trying not to appear too nosy, but she was curious, and she knew there was something wrong. "So tell me what you do know," she pressed.

Alex sighed, then allowed it. "Her mother."

"What about her mother?"

Alex clearly wasn't too comfortable talking behind Olivia's back, and Abbie knew she really shouldn't be asking her to, but she was curious. "Look, I don't know the whole story, but . . . her mother drinks sometimes. And when she's drunk, she hits Olivia. But you can't tell her I told you, okay? And you can't try to fix it for her, because believe me, you'll end up in over your head. And Olivia will kill both of us if you say a word, so _don't_."

Abbie just stared at her for a moment. She didn't know what to _think_, much less what to say. "I found her crying in the bathroom this morning," she admitted.

Alex sighed again. "And what did you do?"

"What's with the twenty questions?"

"Answering a question with a question," noted Alex. "That means you're feeling defensive."

Abbie thought about that, then realized Alex was joking, and she smiled, but then answered the question. "I asked her what was wrong."

Alex rolled her eyes. "Olivia doesn't like people to see her like that. Even me."

"She bit my head off," said Abbie.

"That's just Olivia," replied the blonde, shrugging. "You shouldn't ask her about her mother. She doesn't like to talk about it. And she'll just push you away." Then she hesitated again. "We really shouldn't be talking about Olivia behind her back. She wouldn't like it."

Abbie smirked. "And you just do whatever she wants?"

"When it comes to the important things," responded Alex firmly.

Abbie understood, so she dropped the subject. She knew she wouldn't like Alex and Olivia to pry into her painful – _shameful _– secrets, and then she felt bad about prying into Olivia's. Her therapist had told her that she wasn't alone when it came to bearing these kinds of secrets, and Abbie hadn't really believed her, but now she did. And she understood that sometimes those with secrets gravitated toward each other. Which was probably why Olivia had wanted to be her friend to begin with. Somehow, she'd seen the pain that Abbie had tried so hard to forget, and she'd understood that Abbie needed a friend.

And then it occurred to her that instead of fixating on negativity – hers or Olivia's – she should be trying to make a fresh start for herself and focus on the positive things. That was, after all, why they'd moved here. She needed to put her past behind her. _Hakuna matata_. She smiled to herself at that. _The Lion King _had always been her favorite Disney movie and even now, she loved to work quotes from that movie into her daily life. It drove her older brothers crazy.

Alex had gone back to her French work and Abbie tried to do the same. She tried not to think about Olivia – she tried not to think about _him_. Olivia reminded her of herself in some ways, and that was what made it so hard. She knew how Olivia was feeling because she'd felt the same way herself just a few short months ago. Well, almost the same way. The circumstances were different, but the feelings were the same.

She tried to focus on her textbook work. _Je ferai, tu feras, il fera, elle fera_. Ugh, French was pointless. And annoying. Cause and effect, she supposed. Abbie could never concentrate on anything unless she knew its specific use in her future. She'd wanted to be a lawyer since she was seven, and French wasn't going to be particularly helpful in that field.

"French is pointless," she complained to Alex.

Alex shrugged. "I disagree. It's useful if you travel, especially in Europe."

"Well, we don't. Maybe _you _do."

Alex laughed. "I guess so."

"You could afford a translator," commented Abbie, just because it was something to say.

Alex smirked. "We could afford a _bodyguard_, but that doesn't mean we need and/or want one."

Abbie could completely see what Olivia meant about Alex talking like a dictionary . . . or an encyclopedia . . . or one of those grammar textbooks that you get in grade two. "You have a limo driver," she remarked, even though she knew in the back of her mind that talking about money wasn't usually the start of a successful friendship.

But Alex didn't seem to mind. She leaned conspiratorially toward Abbie. "That's because my mother can't drive." She sat back and smiled smugly. "Don't tell."

The brunette laughed. "Who would I tell?"

Alex shrugged.

"_Mes élèves, levez vos mains si vous avez besoin de plus de temps pour finir les pages j'ai alloué_," said Mme. Rochman, disrupting their conversation.

Abbie looked to Alex for the translation and the blonde raised her hand before whispering to Abbie, "She says raise your hand if you need more time to finish." She rolled her eyes. "You're just like Olivia. She asks me to be her human translator too. She had French first term and she died."

Abbie smirked. "Poor Olivia."

"No, poor _me_! She wouldn't stop pestering me to help her with her homework, no matter how often I told her I didn't know how to do it."

"I'll bet she _totally_ believed that."

"Obviously not."

"Abigail!" called Mme. Rochman. "_As-tu fini_?"

"That is _not_ my name," muttered Abbie, but to her teacher she said, "_Non, je n'ai pas fini._"

Alex stared at her with an appreciative expression on her face. "That's impressive," she commented.

Abbie shrugged. "This is our fifth year of French. As much as I dislike the subject, I do know a _little_."

* * *

During science class, Olivia ignored Abbie, and Abbie was too stubborn to apologize, even though she knew she shouldn't have pried into Olivia's business. Her intentions had been good, after all, and Abbie Carmichael wasn't one to easily admit she'd been wrong.

But the bruises that covered Olivia's body made her angry. Very angry. She wasn't Alex and she wasn't going to roll over and play dead just because Olivia wanted her to. She was going to do what she thought was best and no one was going to stop her.

But then, what _was _best? When Abbie had doubts, usually she just pushed harder so as to hide them. She made decisions very quickly and never looked back, even if she realized she'd made the wrong choice. Her pride was too important to her for that.

"Olivia," she started, and when Olivia ignored her, she snapped, "Look, I understand you're pissed off right now, but I'm not the enemy here. You want to be pissed at someone, be pissed at your mom, because this is her fault. Not mine."

Olivia's head snapped up and Abbie realized she'd just completely overstepped her boundaries. "Who told you?" asked Olivia in a soft, dangerous voice. Her chocolate eyes flashed with anger and Abbie thought Olivia might hit her.

But she stood her ground. "No one. But you know it's true."

"How do _you _know? Did Alex tell you?"

"No, of course not," lied Abbie. She'd always been good at getting people to believe her lies, but with Olivia, she was scared that it might be different. And she couldn't betray Alex. She'd promised she wouldn't and she didn't want to be responsible for breaking the trust between two friends. "Don't be stupid."

But luckily, Olivia seemed to buy it. Or unluckily, because now all of her anger was focused on Abbie. And rightfully so, Abbie had to admit. But then, the fire suddenly drained from Olivia's eyes and her tough exterior slipped. "You weren't supposed to know," she whispered.

And then Abbie did apologize, because she knew it was the right thing to do. "I'm sorry, Olivia," she said softly. "I didn't mean to upset you."

Olivia sighed and went back to the worksheet they were supposed to be working on.

Abbie felt bad all over again. She shouldn't even have brought up the topic. First of all, Olivia clearly didn't want to talk about it, secondly, it was none of her business, and third of all, Abbie wasn't even supposed to _know _about it. Great, she'd upset the girl who'd been nicest to her from day one. _Good job, Abbie, _she congratulated herself. _You're well on the road to a fresh start now_.

"Hey, Abbie, do you know the answer to 3a?" asked Olivia, her voice as light as usual, her chocolate eyes twinkling once again. She seemed to have forgotten their previous dispute, and Abbie was glad.

She looked down at the worksheet. "Um, nitrogen maybe? I'm not sure."

Olivia shrugged. "Okay, nitrogen." She looked at the question again, then said, "Actually, I think it's hydrogen."

"I didn't claim to be the expert," said Abbie. "You're the smart one."

Olivia laughed. "Me? _Alex _is the smart one."

"No arguments there," agreed Abbie. "She let me copy her French notes. They're good."

Olivia pouted. "I'm jealous."

Abbie smiled. "I know. She told me."

"You guys were talking about me?"

Uh oh. Wrong thing to say. "No, we were talking about French," replied Abbie with as much disdain as she could muster.

Olivia was momentarily appeased and nodded. "French is pointless."

"Agreed."

"Alex doesn't."

"I'm not Alex."

"I love you, Abbie," she said sweetly, offering Abbie a lopsided smile.

Abbie laughed. "Why?"

"Because you're not Alex and you don't try to be."

Abbie rolled her eyes. "Then I guess you love everyone in this room."

"No." She thought about it for a moment. "I _mean_, I like you because you're _Abbie_ and you don't try to be anyone else."

Abbie smirked, trying to disguise the pride that swelled in her chest at Olivia's statement. "So corny."

Olivia shrugged, seemingly unperturbed. "I say a lot of corny things."

"So self-aware," commented Abbie, raising an eyebrow.

"No, just stating facts."

"Corny, self-aware facts."

"True, true," agreed Olivia.

Abbie smiled and went back to her science worksheet.

"You can copy me," offered Olivia. Seeing Abbie's hesitation, she added, "Don't worry. I'm good at science."

Abbie understood that this was a peace offering and it would have been rude not to take it, so she did.

"Hey, we're sleeping over at Alex's on Friday. Do you want to come?" asked Olivia.

"Who's _we_?"

Olivia laughed. "Me and Alex. She asked me to ask you."

"Why couldn't she ask me herself?"

Olivia shrugged. "She's Alex."

Abbie considered. She would really like to sleep over with her friends . . . but she was scared to. What if her nightmares returned? She didn't want to wake up screaming, because she was afraid that Alex and Olivia would pry and wonder what was wrong. And then she was afraid that they wouldn't understand.

Or maybe she was afraid that they would.

She thought about it for another moment, then decided she just wouldn't sleep. Sleepovers weren't really for sleeping, after all. They were for staying up late telling secrets and playing games. Besides, her parents would be happy that she was making friends.

"Okay," she told Olivia. "I'll come."

Olivia smiled. "Cool."

**Review for chapter four!**


	4. Chapter 4

**While reading this chapter, please keep in mind that I have absolutely no medical knowledge whatsoever, so read this with a grain of salt. I tried, but I'm not sure about most of the medical situations in this chapter. (I don't *go* to doctors, so I'm not even sure what happens in the medical exam. You might need a minor suspension of disbelief here.)**

Abbie's mother picked her up from school that day because she had a doctor's appointment. Abbie absolutely hated doctor's appointments. It wasn't particularly that she didn't like having blood taken or a stick pushed down her throat (even though she didn't); it was more that she didn't like having someone's hands all over her body, even if it was just a doctor, who did this every day. In her head, Abbie knew that she was safe, but her body didn't seem to realize this, and cringed every time the doctor touched her. It reminded her of _him_.

"How was school, sweetheart?" asked Mrs. Carmichael, leaning over to kiss Abbie's forehead.

Abbie made a face and wiped off the kiss. "Fine. I'm going to a sleepover on Friday."

"That's nice. It's good that you're making friends." She hesitated. "Their parents are going to be there, right?"

Abbie rolled her eyes. "Yes, Mom."

"And no boys?"

Abbie sighed. "Obviously not. Just me and Alex and Olivia."

Her mother nodded. "Okay, just making sure. Excuse me for caring enough about you to make sure you're okay."

Abbie turned away. "I can take care of myself."

"Well, we wouldn't want what happened two months ago to happen –"

"Shut up, Mom," snapped Abbie, reaching out to turn on the radio. "I don't want to talk about that. Ever."

"Don't talk to me that way, Abigail." Her mother sounded more hurt than angry. "You know I only want what's best for you."

"You don't _know _what's best for me," muttered Abbie. "You thought he was a good guy."

"I was wrong," said Mrs. Carmichael quietly. "And I'm sorry."

Abbie continued flipping radio stations until she found one she liked. "If you want what's best for me, never bring this up again."

Her mother knew enough to stay silent and they rode the rest of the way to the doctor's office listening to the radio. Abbie was trying to focus on something, anything but the images that continued to swim in front of her eyes, of _him_. She wished so much that she could forget.

Finally they reached the doctor's office. They went inside and Mrs. Carmichael gave their name to the receptionist. They sat down and waited for Dr. Picard to be ready for them.

"Are you okay, honey?" Abbie's mother asked her, gently squeezing her shoulder.

"I'm fine, Mom," said Abbie, pulling away. "You don't have to wait with me. Go grocery shopping. We need more pasta. And Caesar salad."

"Did you make me a list?"

Abbie rolled her eyes and pulled it out of her pocket. "You should really do this yourself."

Her mother planted a kiss on the crown of Abbie's head. "Love you, sweetheart. Text me when you're done."

Abbie nodded and waved her hand dismissively. "_Adios_." She was trying to cover up her insecurity with an air of nonchalance. She hoped her mother couldn't see through it.

Mrs. Carmichael left the doctor's office and Abbie crossed one leg over the other, clasping her hands in her lap and trying to pretend she wasn't nervous.

Dr. Picard came out a moment later and greeted Abbie with a smile. She'd been Abbie's pediatrician in Texas when she was a child, and she'd since moved to New York to be in private practice. So when the Carmichaels moved here, Abbie had gone back to her old doctor.

"You ready?" she asked.

Abbie tried to disguise her unease, even though she knew Dr. Picard would have understood. She was the first one who'd examined Abbie when everything had happened a month ago and she had been the first one to offer Abbie support. Abbie nodded and followed the doctor into one of the rooms.

Dr. Picard gave her a smile. "Let's start with the easy stuff, okay?"

Abbie nodded and got on the scale, then had her blood pressure and pulse taken. Dr. Picard looked in her eyes and her ears and inside her mouth, then felt her neck.

Then came the questions. They were intrusive, but slightly less so than if her parents had asked the same things, because Dr. Picard had known her since she was a child. And besides, she did this every day and she'd had lots of training on the way to ask questions.

"So, Abbie, how have you been sleeping?"

Abbie shrugged. "I haven't been."

The doctor frowned. "Did you take the sedatives I prescribed?"

Abbie shook her head. "I don't like putting foreign substances into my body," she said primly.

"It's the lesser of two evils, Abbie. You need to sleep."

Abbie sighed as the doctor wrote her out a new prescription. Dr. Picard's expression softened when she saw the look of exhaustion on Abbie's face.

"Here you go, sweetie," she said gently, handing Abbie the piece of paper. "Have your mother fill the prescription on your way out."

Abbie sighed again and shoved it in her pocket, too emotionally worn out to argue. "Okay."

"Have you been eating all right?"

"What will my punishment be if I say no?" asked Abbie sarcastically.

"I'll be disappointed, but unsurprised," answered Dr. Picard, and Abbie had to smile. The doctor knew her well.

Abbie ducked her head and shrugged her shoulders.

"Well, you know what I have to say about that." The doctor sighed. "Are you sexually active, Abbie?"

Abbie shuddered and shook her head, shooting Dr. Picard a look of pure disdain.

"I had to ask." Then she said gently, "Now here's the difficult part, Abbie. I'm going to conduct the physical exam. Can you take off your shirt so I can listen to your heart?"

Abbie really didn't want to. She looked up at the doctor and waited.

Dr. Picard sighed. "I know this is difficult for you, Abbie, but it's not going to hurt. It just won't work through your shirt."

Abbie nodded. Reluctantly, she pulled her shirt over her head and wrapped her arms around herself.

"Relax, Abbie," said Dr. Picard with a smile. "It won't hurt."

Abbie folded her hands in her lap, trying to hide how vulnerable and exposed she felt, even though she was in a doctor's office. The bruises on her ribs and back still hadn't fully healed, and even though she knew she had nothing to be ashamed of, she was.

She flinched as the cool metal of the stethoscope came into contact with her skin, but didn't pull away.

"Calm down, Abbie," soothed the doctor as Abbie shivered, her muscles tensing at the touch. "It's okay."

Abbie nodded and took a deep breath. She flinched every time the stethoscope moved on her skin, but she didn't move. After all, it didn't hurt. It was just uncomfortable.

"I'm going to feel your stomach now," said the doctor patiently. "Where your spleen is, okay?"

Abbie nodded and closed her eyes, reminding herself that it was Dr. Picard's gentle hands on her stomach and not _his_ rough ones.

Finally the doctor told her she could put her shirt back on. "Your heart rate's perfectly normal," said the doctor with a smile. "You did fine, Abbie." Then she hesitated. "I think we're going to skip the rest of the exam, okay? We did that part a month ago or so, so you don't have to have it done again for six more months."

Again, Abbie nodded and sighed in relief. She took out her cell phone and texted her mother to come get her. "Thank you, Dr. Picard," she said politely. "I'll go sit in the waiting room."

"Wait, Abbie," the doctor said, holding up her hand. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

Abbie didn't really have a choice, so she nodded.

"How is everything going?"

Abbie shrugged. That question was the most annoying question any grownup could ever ask just because it was so _vague_.

"Is it better here? Are you making any new friends?"

"Yeah." She knew Dr. Picard was asking partly because she was trained to help Abbie deal with the trauma that had befallen her and partly because she was a family friend and had known Abbie since she was a baby. She'd recommended a psychologist for Abbie to see to help her cope, and Abbie generally trusted her. "I'm going to a sleepover on Friday."

"That's good," said the doctor. "What about . . . I know you don't want to talk about this, Abbie, but have you been having any more flashbacks, nightmares?"

"You can't have nightmares if you don't sleep," responded Abbie, trying unsuccessfully to avoid the question.

Dr. Picard sighed. "I don't want to prescribe you too much medication, but –"

"Then don't," Abbie cut her off. "I won't take it, anyway, so you'll be wasting your time."

"Have you been talking to your therapist?"

"That's what she's there for."

"I just want you to know that I'm here for you, too, okay?"

Abbie nodded. "I know. Thank you, Dr. Picard."

The doctor accompanied her back out to the waiting room, where her mother was sitting in a chair. "Laura," said Dr. Picard to Mrs. Carmichael. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

Abbie sighed and plopped herself down in the chair her mother had just vacated as she followed the doctor into her office. She tried to amuse herself with one of the six month old magazines lying around, but she'd already read it. Twice.

She folded her hands and tried to calm her rapidly beating heart. It was over and it had been easier than she'd expected. Granted, that was only because Dr. Picard had made it easy for her and not conducted the full exam. She'd have to come back in six more months. But that was a long time from now. By then, it would be summertime. Who knew what could change by summertime?

She wondered what Dr. Picard had been wanted to talk to her mother about. Probably just to tell her that Abbie wasn't coping as well as she might appear to be. Well, screw them. While she wasn't fine, and she knew she wasn't fine, it was nobody's business but hers.

Her mother came out a moment later. She sighed and put her hand on Abbie's shoulder. "Let's go."

Abbie flinched at the unexpected touch, then immediately got angry at herself for doing so. This was her _mother_. "What did she want?" demanded Abbie, to disguise her insecurities.

Her mother sighed again and planted a kiss on the crown of Abbie's head. "Nothing." She took Abbie's hand, but Abbie pulled away. Ninth graders didn't hold their parent's hands. At least, _cool_ ninth graders.

"_Nothing_ isn't an answer," said Abbie. "She obviously wanted _something_, or else she wouldn't have talked to you."

"She told me to fill the sedative prescription and make sure you take one before bed. She doesn't want you not sleeping. It's not good for you."

"Screw her," muttered Abbie, feeling an inexplicable resentment toward the woman who'd been so good so her, who'd made the checkup so easy for her, who'd tried to make her feel as comfortable as she possible could. Abbie Carmichael wasn't used to needing people – in fact, she wasn't even used to _wanting _them. And that was why it was so hard for her to accept the help she was being offered.

Her mother didn't respond to Abbie's comment, just stopped at the drugstore beside the doctor's office.

"You're wasting your money," Abbie warned. "I won't take it."

"Do you _want _to have nightmares, Abbie?" asked her mother.

"No, but I don't _want _to put a foreign substance into my body."

Mrs. Carmichael sighed. "It's not a foreign substance. You can go look up all the potential side effects, Abbie. It won't hurt you. Dr. Picard wouldn't prescribe you something that might hurt you."

But Abbie knew better. She knew that pain-inducing substances came in many forms. They could be pills or joints or disintegrated particles in your can of Diet Coke. They could be conspicuous or very subtle. They could even be unprecendented.

But she knew that if she hadn't ingested a foreign substance that night – a debilitating one that she didn't understand the danger of – what had happened never would have come to pass. It had been her fault for actually believing that that stupid little white pill was actually a Midol. What kind of guy keeps Midol in his bathroom? Sure, he said it was his sister's, but she should have known better. If she hadn't had one – or five – drinks too many, she would have been lucid enough to remember that he didn't even _have _a sister. She wasn't going to make the same mistake twice.

But that night, the flashbacks that plagued her were so painful that her willpower wore thin. Checking to make sure her parents and brother were asleep, she crept into the bathroom where her mother had put the sedatives and forced herself to take the medication. As Dr. Picard had put it, they were the lesser of two evils.

But she wouldn't let her mother see that she'd won. Abbie Carmichael stuck to her guns, even when she was wrong – or at least, that was what she wanted the world to think.

**I know this might have seemed like a bit of a filler ****chapter, but I think I had to give some hints about Abbie's past (even though if you've seen **_**Punk, **_**it's not really that much of a mystery, except that I changed the events from her freshman year of law school to her freshman year of high school). Review if you'd like chapter five!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks again to everyone who reviewed! I'm not so good at writing Trevor, so my apologies if he seems a bit out-of-character in this chapter. I hope you enjoy it anyway!**

The next day at school, Abbie was in an awful mood. It was really kind of ironic, because it was the first time she'd had a full night's sleep in months, and sleeping was supposed to make her feel better, not worse. But she was angry at herself, angry that she'd taken the medication that she hadn't wanted to, angry that her willpower had worn thin, angry that they'd been right and the sedatives hadn't hurt her, angry that she needed them to begin with. Angry that, now that her body realized how good it felt to sleep, she'd have to take the medicine every night now. One less thing she could control.

"What's the matter with you?" asked Olivia, quirking an eyebrow as Abbie stomped into science class and dumped her books on her desk before plopping into her chair, scowling.

"Nothing," snapped Abbie. "And don't you even think about saying another word. You don't tell me anything, so why should I tell you?"

Olivia looked surprised for a moment, then narrowed her eyes and folded her arms, and Abbie felt bad. She was right, but sometimes she needed to learn when to keep her mouth shut. They hadn't even known each other a week, and Abbie couldn't expect Olivia to be spilling her secrets. And from what she knew, they were pretty serious ones.

So Abbie sighed and repeated the words she hated to say, the words she'd said twice to Olivia in the span of two days. "I'm sorry."

Olivia uncrossed her arms. "Apology accepted."

Abbie sighed. "I had a doctor's appointment yesterday." It was a peace offering and she hoped Olivia would see it as such.

Olivia nodded sympathetically. "I hate doctor's appointments, too. Except I haven't had one in years."

Abbie could see why, but wisely decided not to say so. She was learning. Well . . . sort of.

This was something she knew Olivia could appreciate, so Abbie offered her something else. "It's having a stranger's hands all over your body."

Olivia shuddered. "It's having _anyone's _hands all over your body." Then Olivia seemed to realize she'd said too much and looked at the ground.

Abbie sighed. She understood all too well. "I know," she whispered.

Olivia caught her eye and gave Abbie a wan smile. Then she sighed too and took out her science textbook, indicating that the conversation was over.

Their science teacher came over to them. "Homework," he said.

Abbie shook her head. She hadn't been able to focus long enough yesterday to do her homework, but she had a note from Dr. Picard explaining the situation. She handed it to Mr. Prinze, who frowned as he read it but nodded almost imperceptibly.

He turned to Olivia. "And you?"

"No, _sir_," said Olivia sarcastically.

"Of course not. What would this world be coming to if Olivia Benson actually did her homework?"

Olivia shrugged. "Life happens sometimes. Are you going to send me to the office and give me a break from this stupid class or can I get back to what I was doing?"

Mr. Prinze sneered. "What were you doing?"

"Conversing intellectually," she said, articulating the words, trying them out on her tongue.

Abbie laughed. Obviously the phrase was courtesy of Alex Cabot.

It seemed to work, because their teacher glared a moment longer at Olivia before moving on.

Olivia leaned back in her chair and folded her arms, smirking.

"Smart ass," remarked Abbie good-naturedly.

Olivia grinned. "And proud of it."

Abbie smiled back and started the homework she hadn't completed. She could concentrate better now, after taking the sedatives. And that made her angry. Abbie Carmichael didn't back down that easily. But last night, she'd actually listened to her body over her mind and _folded_. She didn't _do_ that. At least, she couldn't do that _again_.

Olivia stayed a safe difference away from Abbie as they completed their homework in silence.

* * *

They spent lunchtime in the library with Alex, who needed to study for some history test, and the boys. Trevor had offered to help her study, but the assistance he was offering was more redolent of flirtation than actual schoolwork. He kept trying to kiss her and she kept giggling and pushing him away. Finally, she said, "If you want to stay put, then stop that. Otherwise, you're gone."

Trevor shut up and started his math homework.

Abbie bit back the urge to warn Alex to be careful, because she knew only too well the dangers of an overly possessive boyfriend. Trevor didn't seem possessive now . . . but you never know.

Elliot and Olivia were splitting a bag of Doritos underneath the table because they knew the librarian would kick them out if he noticed them eating in the library. He liked to prowl like a cat and keep everyone on their toes.

Abbie went back to last night's science homework that she still hadn't finished, trying to ignore the two happy couples beside her. Trying not to think about the happy couple she'd once been half of – or, at least, it looked that way from the outside. From the inside, it was another story altogether.

Olivia seemed to notice Abbie's discomfort and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. Abbie flinched at the unexpected touch and then got angry at herself for what seemed like the hundredth time today. Why was she acting like such a _victim_? Why was being so close to Olivia reminding her so much of _him_? She wasn't a victim. What had happened had happened, but it was the past now, and she had to let it go.

They all jumped at a deep voice from behind them. "Okay, everybody out."

"Why?" demanded Olivia, turning to face the librarian.

"Eating in the library."

"But _we _didn't do anything," complained Trevor.

"I don't care. All of you, out," ordered the librarian.

Olivia stood up and got in his face. "No."

His eyes practically bulged out of his head. "_What _did you say?"

"I said no. The library is a public place, therefore we're allowed to stay here. If you don't want anyone eating in the library, put a sign on the door. We can't know the rules if you don't tell them to us."

"You know the rules," growled the librarian.

Olivia looked up at him with as innocent an expression on her face as she could muster. "I don't think we do. Abbie's new here; she doesn't know."

"_She _wasn't eating in the library. You were."

"So they should be allowed to stay." Olivia folded her arms and smirked, knowing she'd won this one.

Abbie couldn't help but laugh as the librarian scratched his head and walked away, leaving them for the moment. Elliot grinned and gave Olivia a high five. "Smooth."

Olivia made a face. "It's boring here anyway. Let's go take a walk."

Elliot laughed. "You're pathetic, Benson."

"Thank you," she said proudly. "I try."

"Could you two either be quiet or leave?" snapped Alex. "_Some people_ are trying to get some work done."

"And _some people_ are trying to talk," replied Olivia mildly.

"You're just trying to be adversarial," commented Alex.

"That's right," agreed Olivia with a smirk.

Elliot took her arm, eliciting a whimper. "Sorry," he said quietly, which infuriated Abbie. How could they treat her injuries with such nonchalance? But she had her own problems to worry about.

Elliot led Olivia out of the library and Abbie considered following them, but decided against it. She sat back against her chair and went back to her homework.

Trevor started to thread his fingers through Alex's hair and she playfully batted his hand away. "_Some people _are trying to study," she repeated.

He grinned, parroting Olivia. "And _some people _are trying to play with their girlfriend's hair."

"Well, _those people _should leave the library."

Trevor pouted, but obediently got up and left the library.

Alex stared after him, then turned to Abbie with amusement written all over her face. "Well, that was unprecedented."

Abbie smirked. "Don't you love a guy who listens to his girl?"

Alex pursed her lips. "That means he loves you."

Abbie shrugged, almost wistfully. "I wouldn't know."

Alex gave her a long look, then went back to her work. Abbie wondered for a moment if she'd said too much, then pushed the thought aside and did the same.

* * *

Abbie caught up with Alex and Olivia during English. The three of them and Elliot sat together, and it was nice to have a "group". It was also nice to be the smartest "group" in the class. Alex was just good at everything, and Olivia and Abbie were both relatively good at English. Elliot wasn't, though – he usually copied Olivia's notes.

"So, you're coming to the sleepover on Friday?" asked Alex as she rummaged in her binder for a sheet of lined paper.

"Yeah," answered Abbie. She'd thought about it and decided it would be nice to spend some time with her friends. She just wouldn't sleep. Problem solved.

"Hey, what sleepover, and why am I not invited?" demanded Elliot, but in a playful tone.

Olivia punched him lightly on the shoulder. "You're a _guy_," she said, as if that explained everything.

"So?"

"So, my parents would murder me if they thought I was having boys over!" exclaimed Alex.

"Mine, too," Abbie agreed, glad to have something in common.

Olivia shrugged. "My mom would throw me a party. She'd say, 'Yay, you're growing up! The sooner you find a guy, the sooner you can get out of my life!'"

Elliot squeezed her hand. "That's not true."

Olivia gave him a disdainful look. "Yes, it is."

Elliot leaned over and kissed her cheek. "She takes you for granted."

"Yeah."

"She shouldn't."

Olivia gave him a wan smile.

"I don't," said Elliot.

Olivia sighed. "And that's why I love you."

Their English teacher materialized beside them. "Let's save the make out session for after school, ladies and gentlemen," she said with a wink. "Homework?"

Alex, Olivia, and Elliot handed Ms. Berg their homework. Abbie just hung her head. She had the note from Dr. Picard, but she didn't want to use it. It felt too much like she was being manipulative, even though she knew she wasn't. But all she wanted was to be normal, and exploiting her circumstances wasn't the way to do it.

"No homework, Abbie?" said Ms. Berg gently.

Abbie shrugged and shook her head.

But surprisingly, her teacher didn't give her a hard time. She just nodded sympathetically. "Okay, have it for tomorrow then."

Abbie let out a deep breath as Ms. Berg walked away. She'd managed to evade a punishment for not doing her homework – again. But she didn't want to. She just wanted to be a normal teenager, but maybe she didn't even know what that meant anymore.

"What happened to your homework?" asked Olivia curiously.

Abbie shrugged. "Why did you do your English but not your science?" she countered.

Olivia smirked. "I did my science."

"No, you didn't."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I did."

"Then why didn't you show it to Mr. Prinze?"

Olivia shrugged. "Because I wanted to annoy him."

Abbie couldn't help but grin. "Well, it worked."

"That's her life mission," commented Elliot. "Annoying her teachers."

"Annoying the annoyers," agreed Olivia.

"Annoyers –" began Alex, but Olivia cut her off.

"I know, Ms. Webster," she said, rolling her eyes. "It's not really a word. Save the grammar lesson."

Alex grinned and went back to copying the note off the board. Olivia heaved a theatrical sigh and did the same. Elliot just sat back in his chair and looked at Olivia. "You'll photocopy that for me, right?"

Olivia punched him lightly in the shoulder, then smiled. "Of course."

* * *

The first thing Abbie did when she got home from school was flush her sedatives down the toilet. She couldn't afford to become dependent on medication and she couldn't take it anymore. They made her feel better and she didn't _want _to feel better. Whether it was because she wanted to be adversarial or because she felt she didn't deserve to be happy was anyone's guess, but the sentiment was there anyway.

She felt a perverse sense of satisfaction as she watched the pills swirl down the toilet and disappear. She would never have to worry about them again.

And that night, as she tossed and turned in her bed, unable to sleep, she felt _good_. Because she knew she'd brought this on herself. That meant she was in control. And that was all she wanted.

All she'd ever wanted.

**So . . . would you like chapter six? Review if you would!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you for the reviews! I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's a nice long one for you.**

All day Friday, Abbie thought about the sleepover, half anticipatory and half worried. She hadn't had a good night's sleep since she got rid of the sedatives and she knew she wouldn't tonight. But she was trying not to care.

Then she had to wonder why she was so excited about a sleepover. Back in Texas, she'd gone to a sleepover every weekend. She'd been _popular _in Texas. Well, she'd been popular until she met _him_. Then she'd earned the reputation of the school slut. And rightfully so, she had to admit.

After school, she walked with Alex and Olivia back to the Cabot apartment, trying to slow her rapidly beating heart. She was so glad to be included, but she was also afraid. Afraid that her nightmares might return and she'd wake up screaming.

They went into Alex's room and Alex grabbed them some Ritz crackers. Abbie raised an eyebrow when she saw them. "I wouldn't think you'd have that kind of crap around here. Delicious crap, but still. Crap."

Alex grinned. "Well, instead of water bottles, we have Perrier bottles."

Olivia laughed. "Works for me, _princess_."

"I'll take tap water," said Abbie dryly. Her stomach was doing flips and she didn't think she'd be able to keep anything down if it wasn't plain and pure.

Alex quirked an eyebrow and obediently got Abbie a glass of tap water.

They lounged on Alex's bed, doing Olivia's nails. She hadn't wanted them to, but Alex promised they would be pretty, and now that Olivia had stopped biting her nails, they were long enough for a manicure. Abbie painted the nails on Olivia's left hand and Alex did her right hand – to save time. Olivia didn't have a lot of patience for sitting still.

"I look like Miss Scarlett," said Olivia, grinning her patented lopsided grin. "You know, from _Clue_."

Alex chuckled. "You're the one who wanted dark red nails."

Olivia shrugged. "I changed my mind."

"Okay," said Abbie. "We'll take it off and repaint them."

"No!" exclaimed Olivia, pulling her hands out of their reach. "No, they're fine."

"Let's watch a movie," suggested Alex.

"Yeah! _Matilda_," said Olivia.

Alex put her glasses on and looked down her nose at her friend. "No way."

The brunette pouted. "Why not?"

"Because that's all you ever want to watch." Alex turned to Abbie and explained, "She has the whole thing memorized."

Abbie shrugged. "I have _The Lion King _memorized."

Alex grinned. "I have the American Girl movies memorized."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Go figure."

"Other than _Matilda_, what would you like to watch?"

Olivia crossed her arms and stuck out her lower lip.

Alex turned to Abbie. "Okay, what would you like to watch?"

"What do you have?" asked Abbie.

Alex handed her a thick binder which contained at least two hundred DVDs. Abbie started to flip through the binder, then looked up at Ales.

"Wow. You have a lot of movies."

Alex shrugged. "My dad has a friend who gets them for us in HD before they even hit theaters and they cost us absolutely nothing."

"Her father has friends in high places," explained Olivia, rolling the words around on her tongue and grinning. "That's why we come to Alex's instead of going to the theater."

"We even have better popcorn," agreed Alex.

"And cheaper," added Olivia, a twinkle in her eye.

Alex shrugged.

Olivia heaved a theatrical sigh. "What it must be like not to worry about money . . ."

Abbie could understand what Olivia meant. She continued to search through Alex's DVDs. "Can we watch _Mean Girls_?"

Alex grinned. "Sure. That's one of my favorites."

Olivia shrugged. "I've never seen it."

Abbie stared at her. "You've never seen _Mean Girls_?"

Olivia shook her head, then made her best puppy eyes at Abbie. "I feel deprived."

Abbie laughed. "Well, we'll put it on and you won't feel deprived anymore."

Olivia sat back on her heels as Alex popped the DVD in and pressed play. "I'll get us some popcorn," she offered.

"Put sugar on mine," Olivia called after her.

Alex rolled her eyes. "Yes, boss."

"You like _sugar_ on your popcorn?" asked Abbie, scrunching up her face.

Olivia shrugged. "It's good. Try some."

"No, thanks."

"That's how they have it in England."

"Have you ever been to England?"

Olivia hesitated. "Well, no, but that's what Elliot says."

Abbie rolled her eyes.

Olivia lay back on Alex's soft duvet, wincing and biting her lip when her back came into contact with the mattress.

Abbie sighed and perched on her stomach beside Olivia. She bit back the words she wanted to say to her friend.

Alex came in with the popcorn and three cans of Diet Coke. She sat down beside Olivia and started the movie.

Olivia shoveled handfuls of popcorn into her mouth with one hand and started to braid Alex's hair with the other. "That takes talent," commented Abbie.

"Be quiet," ordered Olivia. "I'm watching the movie."

Abbie had seen _Mean Girls _at least eight times, but she never got tired of it. She propped her chin up with her hands and tried to watch the movie instead of watching Olivia, who in all honesty was just as interesting. She'd finished her popcorn and was pulling Alex's soft hair into two smooth plaits.

"Could you not touch my clean hair with your dirty hands?" griped Alex. "Wash your hands first."

"Shh," repeated Olivia. "I'm watching the movie."

Alex sighed resignedly and didn't say anything else.

When the movie was over, Olivia grabbed Alex's hand-sized mirror off her dresser. "See? Your hair is pretty."

Alex laughed. "My hair was pretty to begin with, otherwise you wouldn't like to play with it."

Olivia shrugged. "I made it prettier."

Alex turned off the movie and put away the DVD.

"Let's play pig," suggested Olivia, grinning at Abbie.

"Okay," she agreed. "Where are the cards?"

Alex grabbed playing cards and dealt them out.

They played cards for an hour, then Mrs. Cabot came in and asked what they wanted for dinner.

Alex made a face. "We'll just order pizza."

Her mother shrugged. "Okay."

Alex started to dial the phone number for the local pizza parlor and leaned toward Abbie. "Believe me, you don't want anything my mother will give you. Escargot and salads containing things even _I _can't pronounce." She ordered them a large pizza, half cheese and half pepperoni, dipping sauce, garlic bread, and drinks.

The pizza arrived in twenty minutes and Abbie handed Alex eight dollars to pay. Olivia suddenly looked uncomfortable. "Um, Alex –"

"It's okay, Liv," said Alex quickly. "You're covered."

"I'll pay you back."

"When you can," agreed Alex. "No rush."

Olivia smiled uneasily. "Thanks."

Alex went downstairs to get the pizza and returned a moment later. Olivia took a piece from the box and started to eat but Alex shook her head. "No. Take a napkin. You're not making a mess in my bedroom."

Olivia shrugged, probably figuring she shouldn't argue since Alex had just paid for her portion of the pizza. She obediently took a napkin before wolfing down three slices of pizza in the space of five minutes.

"Whoa, take it easy," said Alex, putting a hand on Olivia's shoulder. "It's not going anywhere."

Olivia flinched at the touch and swallowed the pizza in her mouth. "Sorry. I'm just – hungry."

"So we see," said Abbie dryly.

"There's lots more," Alex told her gently.

Olivia devoured another slice of pizza, then had a piece of garlic bread. "Thanks, Alex," she said quietly.

Alex sighed and gave her friend a hug. "Don't mention it."

Olivia looked at the ground, and there was something like _vulnerability _in her chocolate eyes. But it disappeared just as abruptly as it had appeared and Olivia was back to her mischievous self. "Let's bake a cake," she suggested.

Alex rolled her eyes. "No way."

Olivia pouted. "Why?"

"Do you remember what happened last time we attempted to bake a cake?"

Olivia thought about it, then grinned. "I blew it up!"

Alex raised her eyebrows and nodded. "And my parents freaked out. So, no."

"And you _always _do what they tell you," said Olivia dryly.

"Not always. Just usually."

"She says the same thing in regards to you," Abbie told Olivia.

Olivia grinned. "I'm honored."

Alex rolled her eyes. "Are you guys done with the pizza?"

Abbie nodded. "Me, too," said Olivia.

Alex picked up the pizza box and took it downstairs. She returned a moment later. "My mom says to get into our pajamas," she told us, making a face.

Olivia grabbed her pajamas and headed for Alex's ensuite washroom. Alex looked after her with a sad sort of expression on her face, then found a nightgown of her own and started to change. But Abbie didn't feel comfortable getting undressed in front of someone, even her friend, and she waited for Olivia to be done in the washroom. Alex gave her a long look, but didn't comment.

"You can have the bed," Alex offered Olivia.

Olivia shook her head. "You can. It's yours."

"That's the point."

"I'll be fine," said Olivia in a voice that left no room for negotiation.

Alex sighed again. "I'll get you a sleeping bag. Do you want one of the green ones, the pink one, the blue one, or the red one?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "You have too many sleeping bags, Cabot!"

"No, the green ones were my parents' old ones when they used to go camping – they're the warmest, the pink one's mine, the blue one used to be my mom's, and the red one used to be my dad's," explained Alex. "But they're all mine now."

"Why do you need so many?" asked Abbie, raising her eyebrows.

Alex shrugged. "Abbie, there are countless things in this apartment that no one needs or has any use for. They're just here because we haven't figured out how to get rid of them yet."

Abbie laughed.

Olivia thought about it. "I'll take one of the green ones," she decided.

Alex rummaged around in her closet to retrieve the sleeping bag. She handed it to Olivia and tossed her a pillow from her bed. "Here you go, boss."

Olivia smiled sweetly. "Thank you, Alex."

Alex took one of her American Girl dolls off its shelf, the one with long brown hair. She cradled the doll in her arms and climbed into bed. "Pretend you're going to bed," said Alex. "My mom will be here in a minute and she'll make sure we're ready to go to sleep, but it's early. We can talk."

"And eat Doritos," added Olivia.

"Where am I supposed to get Doritos?" asked Alex.

Olivia shrugged. "I don't know. I just felt like Doritos."

"I can't believe you're still hungry," commented Abbie, grabbing her pajamas and starting for the washroom.

She changed quickly, not wanting to see the bruises on her body that still hadn't healed. They'd gone from dark purple to yellow to a lighter purple to blue, and they'd started to fade, which was a good sign according to Dr. Picard.

She brushed her teeth and went back into Alex's room. Putting her clothes back into her duffel bag, she started to unroll her sleeping bag and lay down on it.

Olivia pulled a tattered teddy bear out of her backpack and hugged it to her chest. Abbie raised her eyebrows in amusement and pointed at the stuffed animal. "What's that?"

Olivia glared at her. "What does it look like?" she asked in an icy voice.

Abbie shrugged. "I'm just surprised, considering how much you've been teasing Alex about her dolls."

"There's a difference between a doll and Teddy," said Olivia coldly, but Abbie couldn't help but laugh at the childish way she'd put it.

But Alex gave her a look that clearly said to stop, so Abbie did.

In a slightly more civil tone, Olivia explained, "I got Teddy when I was born. From my grandmother. I never knew her." Then in a quieter voice, she said, "He's the only stuffie I ever had."

That made Abbie sad. She didn't play with stuffed animals anymore, but when she was younger, a hodgepodge of them had sat on her bed. Teddy bears and Disney characters had adorned her bedroom, even a few Barbie dolls which relatives had given her. Abbie Carmichael had never played with dolls, even when she was little.

Alex took a stick of spearmint gum out of her dresser drawer and put it in her mouth. "Want some?" she offered Abbie and Olivia.

"Sure," said Abbie, and Alex handed her a piece. Olivia shook her head.

Mrs. Cabot came in a moment later to say goodnight. "Please get to sleep at a decent hour," she told the girls. She gave Alex a kiss on the forehead. "Goodnight."

Abbie glanced at Olivia and felt sad when she saw the expression of longing that flashed across Olivia's features. Olivia's mother probably had never come in and given her a kiss goodnight. Abbie's parents usually did, but she was sure that Olivia never had that, and that made her sad.

Alex's mother turned off the lights and closed the door. Abbie resisted the overwhelming urge to ask Alex to turn on a night light or the hall light. But she wouldn't. She was stronger than that.

"Your turn, Alex," said Olivia, and Abbie jumped.

"Alex's turn for what?"

"After the lights go off, we tell secrets," explained Alex. "You don't have to if you don't want to, but it's what we do. And everything we say stays in this room."

"Like a shrink's office," said Abbie dryly.

Alex laughed. "Yeah."

"We haven't done this in awhile, though," commented Olivia. Then, with an unmistakable succulence in her tone, she said, "Alex, how far did you get with Trevor?"

Alex threw a pillow at her. "Kissing, that's it. Why do you always go for that stuff first? Isn't your sex life with Elliot exciting enough?"

"Obviously not," replied Olivia, but even in the dark, Abbie knew she was smiling. "Abbie's turn to ask me."

Abbie wasn't sure what the boundaries were for this particular game. She knew she could probably ask what she really wanted to know, and Olivia would probably answer, but she knew she shouldn't nevertheless. Instead, she said, "Why do you do your homework but still tell the teachers it isn't done?"

Olivia laughed. "What a question. The answer is simple: to be contumacious."

Alex laughed. "Good for you, Liv."

"What does that mean?" asked Abbie, even though she didn't like being the only one in the room not to know something.

"It means resistant to authority," explained Alex. "As I'm sure you figured out, I taught her the word. Abbie, did you have a boyfriend back in Texas?"

Abbie hesitated. She didn't want to talk about him. She wanted to forget him. But these were her friends and this was just a game.

"You can say _pass _if you don't want to answer," said Alex quickly.

But Abbie Carmichael wasn't one to back down from a challenge, so she didn't. "Yes," she said simply, in a voice that made it clear that she wasn't going to elaborate.

"Your turn to ask Alex," said Olivia.

Abbie let out a sigh of relief that her friends hadn't asked her anything further about _him_ and considered what she could ask Alex that wouldn't be too invasive. "What do your parents do?"

Alex laughed and Abbie blushed, thinking she might have asked something she wasn't supposed to. But Alex sounded more amused than upset. "If you mean where they got their money, it's old family money. My great-grandparents." She shifted on her bed, then asked gently, "Liv, why did you have to leave early when you were over a few days ago?"

Olivia hugged her teddy bear tightly and Abbie was sure she wasn't going to answer, but then she did. "Because my mom told me to."

"I thought you were – what is it – contumacious?" said Abbie, amused.

She could tell even in the dark that Olivia was glaring at her. "My mom's different, Abbie. You wouldn't understand."

"Yes, I do," said Abbie quietly, but too quietly for Olivia to hear. The words weren't meant for her.

"Abbie, why did you really move here?" asked Olivia.

Abbie wasn't going to say _pass_, but she also didn't want to answer. She considered lying for a moment, then discarded the thought. Better to go for honesty. These were her friends, after all. "Because we needed to get away."

"Get away from what?"

Abbie looked at her hands, then tried to make her voice strong, trying to pretend she was nonchalant about the entire thing. "My boyfriend." There was silence for a moment, and Abbie rolled onto her side. "I'm tired. I'm going to sleep."

"Me, too," agreed Olivia quietly. "'Night, Alex. 'Night, Abbie."

"Goodnight," they echoed.

But Abbie didn't sleep. She stared at the ceiling and tried not to think of the boy she'd tried unsuccessfully to leave behind.

* * *

"Abbie!" She felt gentle hands shaking her awake. _Shit_. She'd known a sleepover wouldn't be a good idea, yet she'd come anyway. Why? "Abbie, what's wrong?"

It was Alex. Abbie groaned, and then she felt how wet her cheeks were. _Double shit._ She must have been crying in her sleep. Yeah, throwing away the sedatives was _such _a good idea. Great job, Abbie, she congratulated herself.

"Abbie," repeated Alex, softly so she wouldn't wake Olivia. "Are you okay?"

Abbie nodded. "Fine," she managed, swiping at her cheeks, trying to remove all remnants of tears. She wouldn't cry in front of Alex Cabot. She _would not _cry in front of Alex Cabot.

Alex sighed, and Abbie could hear footsteps moving across the room. She wondered vaguely for a moment where Alex was going, and then she felt something soft being pressed into her arms, one of Alex's American Girl dolls.

"Here," whispered Alex, and her next words sounded childish and maybe even a bit naïve, but they comforted Abbie nevertheless. "You sleep with Samantha tonight."

Abbie buried her face in the doll's soft hair and, when she was sure Alex had fallen back asleep, she allowed herself to cry, silently, for the pain that had been inflicted upon her. The pain that she had _let _be inflicted upon her.

**Review for chapter seven!**


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning, nothing was said about Abbie's crying during the night, and she understood that this was to be kept between she and Alex and Olivia wasn't to know. She was glad of this, but then she felt bad, because she'd been expecting Olivia to tell Abbie her life story without getting anything in return. And that wasn't fair. If she wanted Olivia to be honest with her, then she had to be honest with Olivia first. Quid pro quo.

Olivia was the first one up and she jumped onto Alex's bed, waking both Alex and (inadvertently) Abbie in the process. Alex pulled a pillow over her head. "Could you _not _wake me at eight in the morning on a Saturday?"

Olivia pretended to think about it for a moment, then smirked and shook her head. "The sun is up. You should be, too."

Alex sighed. "Abbie, these are Olivia's early morning habits."

Abbie shrugged. "I don't care." She really didn't. It was just as well; she didn't want to cry out anymore in her sleep.

Olivia grinned like a cat. "Great. Let's go get some pancakes – no, hold on, let's have your cook make us some pancakes."

Alex threw a pillow at her. "She only comes on weekends!"

Olivia threw the pillow right back. "I've never had a cook in my life! Have you, Abbie?"

Abbie thought about it for a moment. "Once, but he wasn't 'our' cook. My dad just hired him for one evening because he was having some kind of business party and my mom didn't feel like cooking for a bunch of people – or cleaning up after them."

Olivia laughed. "Yeah. Let's go get some pancakes."

Alex groaned and rolled over. "You can."

Olivia climbed back onto Alex's bed and grabbed her arm, pulling her to the edge. "Come on," she whined.

Alex sighed. "Fine." She got out of bed and pulled on her bathrobe over her pajamas. "Happy?"

"Very," said Olivia approvingly, and led the girls into the kitchen.

"I love how you make yourself so perfectly at home in my house," said Alex, shaking her head.

Olivia shrugged. "You have a very nice house."

Alex grinned. "Thank you."

The sat down at the table and had banana pancakes and freshly squeezed orange juice.

"How long can you stay for?" asked Alex.

Abbie shrugged, but Olivia said, "I should be back by four."

Abbie rolled her eyes. She didn't understand Olivia's self-inflicted curfews when her mother didn't really care what time she got home. On the other hand, Abbie's mother would worry if Abbie was five minutes late coming home. Even though Abbie was fourteen now, not a baby, her mother was more protective than ever. She seemed to think that if she'd been more protective of Abbie six months ago, what happened never would have.

Olivia wolfed down her pancakes, then took seconds. Alex watched her through narrowed eyes. "You know, you can take some of that home if you want." Abbie knew what she meant; Olivia was clearly overcompensating for the hunger that awaited her when she got home.

Olivia shook her head. "I'm okay."

Alex sighed. "Are you sure?"

Olivia nodded, and even Abbie could have told Alex that she would. Olivia, like her, didn't like admitting she needed help, much less than accepting it when it was offered.

They went back to Alex's room and Alex turned on her iPod. _Love Story _came on and Olivia flopped on the bed, grinning. "My song."

"So possessive," commented Alex.

"Mine and Elliot's," clarified Olivia. "It was the first song we ever danced to."

"Yeah, in your _bedroom_."

"In _his_."

Abbie raised an eyebrow. "_Oh_."

Olivia threw a pillow at her. "Shut up."

Abbie climbed up onto the bed beside her friend and Alex joined them, pulling a pillow over her head. "You woke me up too early," she groaned.

Olivia shrugged. "Okay." She took Abbie's shoulder and started to lead her out of the room. "Come on, Abbie, let the princess get her full eight hours."

"Ten," Alex corrected her.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Anyway . . ."

"No!" Alex sat up, her eyes wide. "I'm fine!"

Olivia smirked and sat down again. "Yes, ma'am."

Alex smiled sheepishly. "Let's watch a movie."

"What movie?"

"_Matilda_."

Olivia grinned. "I love you, Alex," she said sweetly.

Abbie climbed onto the bed beside Olivia as Alex went to put in the movie. "She just wants you to be quiet so she can go back to sleep," whispered Abbie conspiratorially to Olivia.

"I know," Olivia stage-whispered back. "But I'll take what I can get."

Abbie shrugged. "I've never seen _Matilda _before."

Olivia gasped theatrically. "You've _never _seen _Matilda_?"

Abbie shook her head.

"You poor deprived child!" cried Olivia. "It's the best movie in the world!"

Abbie grinned. "I'm looking forward to it, then."

Alex pressed play on the DVD player, then jumped back onto the bed with Abbie and Olivia, laying her head on her pillow and clutching one of her dolls to her chest.

"Is Nellie watching the movie with us?" asked Olivia sweetly.

"Yes," answered Alex, and Abbie and Olivia both laughed.

The movie came on and Abbie, glancing at Olivia, saw her mouthing the words along with the characters. When she started murmuring them aloud, Alex rolled over to give her an icy glare.

"Stop."

Olivia pouted. "It's subconscious," she complained.

"Well, now I'm making you conscious of it."

They finished the movie, which was just as good as Olivia had said, and they decided to play twenty questions.

"I'll do one first," volunteered Olivia. "It's a thing."

"Is it in this room?" asked Abbie.

Olivia shook her head.

"Would it fit in the palm of my hand?"

"No."

"Does more than one exist in the world?"

"Yeah."

"Does it weigh more than I do?"

Olivia shrugged. "I don't know how much you weigh."

"Does it weigh more than Alex?" amended Abbie.

"Everything weighs more than Alex." Then Olivia thought about it. "I don't think so."

"Hallelujah," said Alex sarcastically. "Is it a solid?"

"No."

"Is it a liquid?"

"No."

"Is it a gas?"

"Yes."

Alex turned to Abbie. "So that's why it can't fit in your hand." She turned back to Olivia. "Is it found in a specific place?"

"No."

"Can it only be found at a specific time?"

"Yes."

"Only in a certain season?"

"No."

"Is it found on the periodic table?" asked Alex.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "I have no idea what gases are found on the periodic table, but I'm going to say no."

Abbie shrugged. "I don't know."

"Well, you haven't asked your full twenty," commented Olivia.

"It's a gas that isn't on the periodic table that can only be found at a certain time," said Abbie. "What _is _that?"

Alex held up a hand. "Is it naturally occurring?"

"Obviously," said Olivia dryly. "It's a _gas_."

"No. It could be a mixture."

"Well, it's not."

"Okay," said Alex. "Is it made of water in a gaseous form?"

Olivia thought about it for a moment, then nodded.

"We're getting somewhere," Alex told Abbie with a satisfied smile.

Abbie shrugged. "Is it condensation?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "It's not the movement from one state to another."

"Then evaporation is out, obviously."

Olivia looked at the sky. "Yeah, I would guess so, Einstein."

"Then I don't know."

"I know!" Alex snapped her fingers triumphantly. "It's a rainbow."

Olivia gave her a look of appreciation. "Very good," she said, sounding a bit surprised.

"My turn," said Alex, grinning. "I have a metaphysical thing for you."

Olivia narrowed her eyes. "No."

"It's physical but intangible. It exists but you can't touch it," explained Alex.

"Olivia, you don't have to play," Abbie told her, then turned to Alex. "Is it naturally occurring?"

"Yes," answered the blonde.

"Can it be seen?"

"Yes."

"Can it be heard?" asked Olivia.

Alex rolled her eyes. "It does not emit sound waves," she said primly.

"Can it be used for anything?"

"No."

"I give up," grumbled Olivia. "What?"

Alex ginned. "A mirage."

"Now how the hell were we supposed to know that?" snapped Olivia.

"A mirage isn't a physical thing," Abbie told her.

"Yes, it is," replied Alex. "It really exists. It's an optical phenomenon. It's when light rays bend. Light rays are real physical things, therefore a mirage is a real physical thing, too."

Abbie didn't know what to say to that, so she didn't say anything.

"Learn not to argue with the brilliant one here," said Olivia, grinning at Alex. "You'll never win."

"Someday," muttered Abbie, a bit daunted. She wasn't used to not knowing what to say.

Olivia laughed. "We'll see. Let's play something else."

They played Life and Clue, both of which Olivia won. Then she got bored and started to jump on Alex's bed, causing Alex to grab her ankles and pull her down. "You don't jump on this bed!" she exclaimed. "My parents will kill me."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Cue the violins."

"I'm serious, Liv. You're going to break it – again."

"Hey!" Olivia looked wounded. "I haven't broken your bed since I was eight."

"And when you were eight, I swore you would never break it again. So get off."

Abbie looked at Olivia with interest. "How did you manage _that_?"

Olivia shrugged. "I bounced on it like it was a trampoline. Apparently, I was too heavy for it and I fell through. I broke my arm."

"You broke my bed!" said Alex, clearly devoid of sympathy for her friend.

Olivia smiled sheepishly. "I was a stupid little kid."

"Agreed."

Abbie shrugged. "When I was little, my oldest brother broke my bed."

"How did that happen?" asked Olivia.

Abbie grinned. "He sawed it up with the Swiss Army knife that my dad got him for his eleventh birthday. And he was angry at me for some reason – I don't know, I must have stolen some of his Halloween candy or something. He tore my bed up into little strips of wood and I didn't notice until it was time to go to sleep. Naturally, I pulled a tantrum." She looked at Olivia. "I was seven."

Olivia laughed. "The joy of brothers. No, honestly, I wish I had one."

Abbie wrinkled her nose. "_Why?_ They're annoying. And they're smelly. And they spend ten years in the bathroom getting ready for a date."

Alex laughed too. "_I _spend ten years in the bathroom getting ready for a date."

"I only spend five years," commented Olivia.

"We're _girls_. We're allowed," said Abbie as if that explained everything.

"What did your parents do?" asked Alex.

"Took away his knife and let me sleep in my brother's bed for two days until they could get me a new one. He slept on the couch. Except his room smelled like him and it was so messy that I could barely walk in it. I used to sleepwalk when I was little and I kept tripping over Transformers and dinosaurs and video games and stuff. So in hindsight, I probably would have preferred the couch."

Olivia laughed. "Aw, so sweet."

"So your breaking Alex's bed isn't such a big deal," concluded Abbie.

Just then, Olivia's cell phone started to vibrate. She winced, but obediently picked it up. "Hello? . . . oh, hey, Elliot . . . no . . . no . . . it's fine . . . did she . . . okay . . . okay . . . thanks, El . . . yeah, love you, too . . . bye."

Abbie couldn't really piece together much from Olivia's side of the conversation, except that it was Elliot calling, and by the look on the brunette's face she could tell that something was wrong.

Olivia hung up the phone and turned to Alex and Abbie. "I have to go," she said apologetically. "Sorry."

"What's wrong?" asked Abbie, knitting her brows in concern.

"Nothing," answered Olivia quickly. "I – nothing. It's just –"

Alex clearly saw how difficult this was for her friend, and she said gently, "It's okay. We'll see you on Monday, Liv. And give me a call if you can."

Olivia nodded gratefully. "I'll see you later. Bye." She raced out the door.

Abbie and Alex exchanged glances. Abbie wanted to ask her something, because she had a strong suspicion that Alex knew more than she did, but she kept her mouth shut.

"Do you want to go for a bike ride?" suggested Alex.

"I don't have mine here," Abbie told her.

Alex shrugged dismissively. "You can borrow one of mine."

Abbie raised an eyebrow. "_One _of yours? You have more than one?"

Alex nodded. "I have a pink one, which is a five speed, and a blue one, which is a ten speed, and a purple one that I got for my birthday."

"What do you need more than one bike for?"

Alex shrugged again. "I don't. It's just one of those things."

"One of those things that, although there is no purpose to having multiple copies, why not?"

Alex laughed. "Anyway, do you want to go for a bike ride?"

"Sure," agreed Abbie.

"Which one do you want?"

"I'll have the blue one."

"Cool. I'll go get them."

She retrieved the bicycles from a hall closet and the girls carried them outside. They rode a few blocks in silence. Abbie was all about speed, but surprisingly, Alex managed to keep up with her.

She swerved the bike, narrowly avoiding a mother pushing a stroller. She almost hit a building, but managed not to. She could hear Alex's quiet laughter from behind her and resisted the urge to tell her to shut up. "Slow down," Alex told her, amusement lacing her tone. "You're going to hit something. Or someone. This isn't rural Texas."

Of course, that only made Abbie even more determined to go faster, but she recognized the truth in Alex's words, and obediently slowed down. "Going slow is boring," she complained. "Let's go back to your place."

"Okay, but we are _not _talking about Olivia. She found out I told you something you shouldn't know and she bit my head off."

"Okay," agreed Abbie quickly, wincing at Alex's words. She hadn't intended things to turn out like that.

Alex turned her bicycle around and Abbie followed her back to her apartment. They put the bikes away and went back to Alex's room, playing cards for the better portion of the next hour.

Then Abbie's phone started to play _Keep Holding On_, which was one of her favorite songs. She snatched it up and flipped it open. "Hello?"

"Abigail! Where have you _been_?"

Abbie winced. It was her mother, and she sounded pissed off. "Um, I was just out for a bike ride with Alex."

"Without your phone?"

_Crap. _"Yeah, well, I guess I must have forgotten it."

"Abbie, we agreed on this. I need to be able to reach you at all times, otherwise no more sleepovers."

Abbie sighed. "Look, Mom, can we do this later?"

"Sweetheart, you know it's because I care about you –"

"I know, Mom," interrupted Abbie. "I know. I'll be home in an hour, okay? Just –"

"Okay," said her mother, sounding resigned. "I'll see you in an hour, baby."

Abbie hung up the phone and breathed a sigh of relief. She looked up to find Alex staring at her. "Parents," she said sympathetically.

Abbie rolled her eyes. "Tell me about it." But she understood. She could take care of herself, but she understood that her mother wanted to protect her from a pain that she didn't – couldn't – fully understand.

No one understood. No one ever could.

**Review for chapter eight!**


	8. Chapter 8

Mrs. Carmichael was waiting in the family room for Abbie when she returned from Alex's. She patted the seat next to her and Abbie sighed but obediently lowered herself onto the couch beside her mother.

"How was the sleepover, honey?" asked Mrs. Carmichael.

Abbie shrugged. She didn't want to tell her mother about crying in her sleep and she hoped she wouldn't ask. "We had fun."

Her mother squeezed her shoulder. "That's good. Did you sleep okay?"

Abbie sighed. She'd known this was the true purpose of the conversation. But she nodded anyway, even though it wasn't true, and her mother knew it wasn't true, and she knew her mother knew it wasn't true.

"Did you take the medication Dr. Picard prescribed?"

"No, of course not," snapped Abbie. "Sleepovers aren't for sleeping and that stuff gives you a full eight hours. It would have scared the shit out of them if they tried to wake me and I didn't."

"Watch your mouth," said her mother sharply, then in a gentler tone, "I understand, Abbie, but you need to take the medicine. You need to sleep."

"Don't tell me what to do!" Abbie got up and flounced out of the room. She couldn't do this. She couldn't.

"Abbie!" her mother called after her, but Abbie ignored her.

She stalked to her bedroom and slammed the door, blasting her iPod to block out the images that plagued her. _The two of them laughing as they watched a chick flick, her head resting on his shoulder, his gentle hands rubbing her back. And then his hand down her shirt, cupping her breast, even though she told him to stop, that she didn't want it. The hazy memories of that horrible night, undressing her, ever so gently, until she came to and started to fight. Then a smack, another, another, and his hands were all over her. She hadn't wanted it. But that was the price she had to pay for being such a _slut_._

She heard such an insistent banging on her bedroom door that wondered vaguely if it was an emergency. "Go away," she growled.

Her older brother, Graeme, opened the door anyway. "Could you turn down that stupid music?" he asked moodily.

"No." She looked around for something to throw and came upon her science notebook. Good enough. She picked it up and chucked it at him.

Graeme flipped her off but easily avoided the flying object. Her aim was good, but his reflexes were better. "I'm trying to study," he complained.

"Not anymore," she told him. "Out!"

"I'm going to tell Mom," he whined, sounding more like a petulant six-year-old than the sixteen-year-old he was.

"Be my guest," she replied, burying her head in her pillow. "Get out!"

Graeme ignored her. Instead, he sat down beside Abbie on the bed. "What's wrong?" His contempt had turned to concern, and that just made Abbie angrier. She hated it when he tried to be brotherly, protecting his baby sister. She could take care of herself. She much preferred when he was teasing her or annoying her or doing one of those things big brothers were just supposed to do.

"Nothing," she replied, not meeting his eyes. "Go away."

"Is it –?"

"No!" screeched Abbie, not wanting him to finish his sentence. "Get out! Out!" Adrenaline coursing through her veins, she shoved her brother off the bed and pushed him out of the room, slamming the door after him.

She flopped back onto her bed, breathing hard. She didn't want to discuss _him _with anyone, not her mother or her brother or even Olivia. Not now, not ever.

* * *

On Monday, Olivia wasn't at school. Abbie spent lunchtime with Alex, Trevor, and Elliot, studying in the library. No one knew where Olivia was, not even Elliot or Alex, but Abbie had her suspicions. She considered going to see her friend after school, but she had an appointment with her therapist. _Ugh_. More torture.

"We're going away on Wednesday," said Alex, startling Abbie from her thoughts.

"Oh, am I invited?" asked Trevor.

Alex laughed. "I meant me and my parents."

Abbie feigned shock. "My parents and _I_!"

"Yes, that." Alex waved a hand dismissively. "We're going to Chicago until Monday," she explained to Alex. "My dad has some business there."

"So lucky," said Abbie with a sigh.

"Can I come with?" asked Elliot. "You can put me in your suitcase. I won't make any noise; I promise."

Alex laughed. "No."

"Aw." He made sad puppy eyes at her. "Why not?"

Alex looked down her nose at him. "Olivia does that better than you."

Then silence fell over the four of them, all lost in thought, worrying about their absent friend.

"I'm going to see her after school," said Elliot.

"Don't," Alex advised him. "She'll bite your head off."

"She needs her homework."

"It's just as well she doesn't have it. She won't want it."

Elliot sighed. "Does _everyone _always do what you say?"

"Yes," replied Alex decisively.

"Why?"

"Let's see . . . because I'm always right."

"True that," agreed Trevor.

Alex laughed. "If you're trying to sound ghetto, you're not doing a very good job of it."

"Ah, _c'est la vie_."

Alex frowned. "That's _my _line!"

"Deal with it."

The bell rang, and the boys departed for their lockers to grab their textbooks. Alex and Abbie started for their English classroom together. "Are you doing okay?" asked Alex, obviously noticing how unusually quiet Abbie had been throughout lunch.

Abbie nodded. "Fine." She hesitated. "Just worried about Olivia."

"She'll be fine," said Alex, then almost sadly, she added, "She always is."

"That doesn't make it okay."

"No, but she's strong. She can take care of herself."

"Strength has nothing to do with it," said Abbie sharply. And then she wondered if she was referring to Olivia or to herself.

* * *

Abbie was in a brooding, irritable mood when her mother picked her up after school that day, and when Mrs. Carmichael asked her how school was, she just sighed and rested her head against the window.

"That bad, huh?" said her mother sympathetically.

Abbie rolled her eyes. She knew her mother was trying, but Mrs. Carmichael just didn't understand her. No one did.

Abbie's mother dropped her off at her therapist's office. "Do you want me to come in with you, sweetie?"

"No. I'm not a baby." Then she realized how harsh her words sounded. "I'll see you in an hour," she said more gently.

"Love you, Abbie."

Abbie sighed. "Love you, too."

She climbed out of the car and walked into the office, sitting down in a chair and flipping through a six-month old _Seventeen _magazine.

Dr. McKenna came out into the waiting room a moment later and greeted Abbie with a smile. "Hi, Abbie. Come on in."

Abbie forced herself to smile back and went inside, settling on the couch and filing through her mind, trying to decide what she could tell her therapist and what she should omit.

"I'm going to make myself a cup of tea. Do you want some hot chocolate?"

Abbie shook her head. "No, thank you." This was their routine; every week, Dr. McKenna made herself a cup of tea and asked Abbie if she wanted hot chocolate, which Abbie always declined. It was almost annoying that Dr. McKenna continued to ask, but it was also a bit comforting to know that things were going to be the same, week after week.

Her therapist gave her another smile and sat down across from Abbie with her cup of tea. "So, how was your week?"

Abbie shrugged. "Fine."

"How about we try to be a little more responsive this week?" suggested Dr. McKenna.

"What does that mean?" asked Abbie unenthusiastically.

"Giving answers that don't include 'yes,' 'no,' 'fine,' or any variations of the above."

Abbie smiled in spite of herself and parroted Olivia. "I respectfully decline." _Olivia. _She didn't want to think about Olivia right now.

Dr. McKenna caught the look that flitted across her face. "What was that?"

Abbie quickly made her face blank. "Nothing."

"Responsiveness also means not saying 'nothing' when I ask you a question."

"I thought we just agreed that I wasn't going to _be _responsive," said Abbie sharply.

Dr. McKenna was clearly trying to disguise her amusement. "You know, Abbie, your coming here is pointless if you're not going to talk to me."

"I talk to you," replied Abbie sullenly. "I don't talk to you about _everything_, but I do talk to you."

"You don't talk to me about anything _important_," amended her therapist.

Abbie sighed. "Look, can we leave it for today? Let's play checkers or something."

Dr. McKenna didn't ask her anything for another few minutes and they sat in a pregnant silence. Finally, the doctor said, "Abbie, Dr. Picard called me."

"What did she say?" asked Abbie quickly, her heart pounding in her chest.

"That you had an appointment a few days ago and you haven't been taking your medication."

"Oh." Abbie stifled her sigh of relief, then tried to cover it up by pointing to a pack of sweet peppermint gum on Dr. McKenna's desk. "Can I have a piece?"

"Sure." Her therapist handed her a piece of gum and she put it in her mouth. "So, Abbie, how did the appointment go?"

Abbie shrugged.

Dr. McKenna sighed. "Responsiveness, Abbie. Can you give me something here?" Seeing Abbie's reluctance, she added, "I can't help you if you don't let me."

That made Abbie angry. "Who says I want to be helped?" Then she realized how silly that sounded, even though it was true. "Who says I want _your _help?" she amended.

The doctor didn't miss a beat. "I don't care if you _want _my help, but you need it. That's what I'm here for, Abbie."

"I don't need anyone."

"Yes, Abbie," said Dr. McKenna. "You do. Everyone needs someone."

"You have no idea how corny that sounds." Abbie knew she was being rude, but it was her defence mechanism and she couldn't help herself.

Her therapist was used to Abbie by now and didn't seem particularly offended. "Back to your appointment with Dr. Picard . . ."

Abbie sighed and gave in. "She cut it short."

"Fine, but that wasn't my question. I didn't ask what happened during the appointment. I asked how you felt about it."

Abbie scowled. "I'm trying, okay? I'm doing the responsiveness crap."

"Okay. So why did Dr. Picard cut your appointment short?"

Abbie looked at the ground. "I was uncomfortable," she admitted.

"Good. We're getting somewhere. Why were you uncomfortable?" asked Dr. McKenna.

Abbie sighed. "She had me take off my shirt so she could do the stethoscope thing. I kept –" She took a deep breath, then continued in as strong a voice as she could muster, "I kept feeling _his_ hands on me and I couldn't stay still."

"That's normal, Abbie," said the doctor gently. "We can –"

"I know, okay?" cried Abbie. "I know!" She took another breath and lowered her voice. "But that doesn't make it any easier."

Dr. McKenna nodded. "Okay. Let's leave that for a moment. How's school going?"

Abbie shrugged. "Fine." Then she grimaced. "My classes are mostly easy," she offered.

"Very good," encouraged her therapist. "Have you made any friends yet?" She misinterpreted Abbie's hesitation and added, "It's okay if you haven't. These things take time."

Abbie shook her head. "I've made friends."

"Tell me about them."

Abbie sighed. "Alex and Olivia. Alex is in my French class and my English class. She's really smart. And Olivia's in my science and my geography. She's –" Abbie struggled to remember the word she had used – "contumacious."

Dr. McKenna smiled indulgently. "Ah."

"Alex taught her that," explained Abbie. "And you should know better than that. Your 'nonverbal prompting' doesn't really work with me."

The doctor quirked an eyebrow in amusement. "I wouldn't have expected anything less. Tell me more about Olivia."

Abbie locked eyes with her. "No."

"Okay, why don't you want to talk about her?"

"If I didn't want to talk about her, why do you think I'd want to talk about why I don't want to talk about her?"

"Well, what do you want to talk about?"

Abbie thought about it. "Did you know the longest word in the English language is pneumono-ultramicroscopic-silicovolcano-koniosis?"

"You're changing the subject."

"If I recall correctly, there _wasn't _a subject. You asked me what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about pneumono-ultramicroscopic-silicovolcano-koniosis."

Dr. McKenna sighed. "That wasn't what I meant. The purpose of you coming here is to deal with your own emotions and actions, not to demonstrate your knowledge of obscure medical conditions."

"Okay." Abbie considered a safe topic. "When Graeme and Jordan and I were little, we used to do puzzlemania. We had twenty or so different puzzles and we would put them all together and time ourselves. They used to take up the entire basement and we would leave them for weeks, sometimes, until my mom made us take them apart." She smiled in nostalgia. "We were close when we were younger. I miss it."

There was something that Dr. McKenna couldn't argue, at least. Abbie had said _something _about herself and had gotten relatively close to confessing an emotional reaction, which was something she'd always found difficult to do. Which she figured was the entire point of her meetings with her therapist.

Dr. McKenna smiled too. "That's nice. How come you aren't close anymore?"

Abbie shrugged. "Well, Jordan's away at university and Graeme is just . . . I don't know. I guess we grew apart."

"Do they know about –?"

"Why do we keep coming back to this?" exclaimed Abbie, then said in a more measured tone, "Can we please not talk about it? I'll tell you about anything – _anything _– else."

"Okay. Tell me about Olivia."

She was a sharp one, for sure. Abbie groaned inwardly. "Anything but that."

"You seem to have a lot of off-limits topics," commented the doctor mildly.

"Damn right," growled Abbie.

Dr. McKenna sighed. "Tell me more about your brothers."

"Well, Graeme is already studying for his SATs, even though he still has over a year before he has to take them – sorry, fourteen months, as he's fond of reminding us."

"Does he know what he wants to do yet?"

"No," said Abbie. "He changes his mind every other week."

"What about your oldest brother?"

"Palaeontology. He's been practically obsessed with dinosaurs since he was a baby and he knows everything – well, a lot – about them. He loves it."

"Do you know what you want to do?"

Abbie considered. She'd never really thought about it before – two months ago, _if_ she was going to grow up had been the question, not what she was going to do _when _she grew up. "A lawyer," she decided. "A district attorney." And in true Abbie Carmichael fashion, the moment she said it, she knew it was true. She was going to be a prosecutor when she grew up. _When _she grew up. Not _if_. _When._

**Review for chapter nine!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry this one took so long; I'd written it but forgotten to save it and my computer did some stupid update and I lost EVERYTHING! I hate technology . . . except I love it so much . . . ugh. So the point is, if this chapter isn't as good as the others, it's because I had to rewrite it. Anyway, done with my rant. On to the story!**

By Wednesday, when Alex left with her family for Chicago, Olivia still hadn't returned to school. Abbie was a nervous wreck. She spent lunchtime with Elliot; Trevor was out with a few of his guy friends.

They talked about everything under the sun except the one thing that they both wanted to talk about, which was Olivia. Elliot told her about his brothers and sisters, about his father the police officer, about the subjects he was taking, about his basketball team, and so on. Abbie told him about her brothers, about Texas, about how she liked New York, and so on. Finally, she just blurted out the question that was on both of their lips, the question that she knew was rhetorical, the question that she knew Elliot couldn't answer. "Is Olivia going to be okay?"

Elliot shrugged helplessly. His eyes were suddenly lifeless, empty, and Abbie could see the pain written all over his face. "I don't know," he admitted. "I hope so."

Abbie sighed. "Me, too."

* * *

Abbie couldn't sleep at all that night, or the night after, or all weekend. Not that she ever really slept, but on Sunday night, she tossed and turned until two in the morning. She was finally drifting off when her cell phone started to vibrate and she shot straight up in bed, wondering who on Earth would be calling her at this ungodly hour. "What?" she barked into the phone.

"Abbie?" came an uncertain voice that made Abbie's heart skip a beat.

"_Olivia_?"

"Yeah."

"Why are you calling?"

"Because I know you don't sleep at night and I need – I need a favor."

"Okay. What's wrong?"

"I can't tell you over the phone. Please, just please come and get me! I'm scared, Abbie, and Alex is gone and I couldn't call Elliot and I didn't know what else to do and – oh, please, just come. Please!" She was crying now, and Abbie was downright terrified, not only by the panic in Olivia's tone but also the fact that she was calling at all. Abbie didn't know what she could do for her, but she knew she had to try.

"Okay, Liv, okay. Calm down. Take a deep breath." Abbie did the same, trying to calm herself. She couldn't be any help to Olivia if she was hysterical too. "I'll get my mom and we'll be there in a few minutes, okay?"

"No, Abbie, please, please don't tell your mom! She won't – she won't – she'll –"

"It's okay, Liv," said Abbie, using the nickname that she knew would calm her friend. Alex and Trevor were the only one who ever called her that, but it always helped. "My mom will help you, I promise. She won't hurt you. She won't let anyone else hurt you, I promise."

She could hear Olivia start to calm down. "Okay," she whispered, her voice still hoarse with tears. "Okay. Thank you, Abbie."

"See you in ten."

Abbie was trembling herself as she hung up the phone and padded into her parents' room, praying that her mother would understand the importance of what she was asking her to do.

"Mom," she said, shaking her mother awake. "Mom!"

Mrs. Carmichael rolled over and opened her eyes. "Abbie? What's wrong?"

Abbie fought the tears of panic that were rushing to her eyes. "My friend – Olivia – she called me. She needs help. She needs us to come get her."

"Abbie, I know you care about your friend, but I'm not comfortable getting involved in other people's lives," replied her mother.

Abbie stamped her foot in frustration. "Her parents are beating her, Mom! She needs our help. God forbid she dies tonight, do you want that on your conscience?"

"Abbie –"

"What if it was me, Mom? When everything happened two months ago, no one listened to me. I tried to tell, but no one listened – and no one helped – and that was what happened. Do you want the same thing to happen to my best friend?" And as soon as she said the words, she realized they were true. Olivia _was _her best friend, and Abbie didn't know what she'd do if something happened because she hadn't been there to help.

Abbie knew she'd won this one. Her mother jumped out of bed. "Give me two minutes, sweetie. Two minutes."

Abbie ran back to her room and threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. She followed her mother out to the car and gave her directions to Olivia's small apartment.

"Do you want me to come with?" asked Mrs. Carmichael.

Abbie nodded gratefully. Although she hated admitting that she needed help, she realized that reinforcements might be necessary at this point. Besides, this wasn't about her. It was about Olivia.

They located Olivia's apartment and Abbie banged on the door. No one answered, and she tried the doorknob, surprisingly finding it unlocked. She went inside, her mother at her heels.

She heard her mother's quiet gasp as they walked through the living room, where a woman whom Abbie assumed was Mrs. Benson was passed out on the floor, wearing nothing but a bra and panties.

Abbie could hear quiet whimpers and followed the sound, assuming they would lead to Olivia. She was led to a bedroom and gingerly opened the door, stifling her gasp when she saw what awaited her. Olivia was crouched in a corner, trembling as she clutched her knees to her chest, wearing just a long t-shirt that did little hide the rainbow of bruises, welts, and cuts that marred her body, rocking back and forth as she sobbed.

Abbie ran to her. "Olivia, what _happened_?"

Olivia just cried harder. "I'm sorry," she whimpered. "You didn't have to come."

"Don't be sorry," murmured Abbie, giving her friend a hug. "You can always call me." She took Olivia's hand. "Let's get you cleaned up and then we'll bring you back to my house, okay?"

She nodded shakily and let Abbie help her to her feet. This time, Abbie couldn't suppress her sharp intake of breath when she saw the dried blood caked on Olivia's thighs. Suddenly, all the pieces fell into place. She knew exactly how Olivia was feeling because the same thing had happened to her, and she knew instinctively that Olivia wasn't going to want to talk about it. So she shepherded her friend to the washroom and rummaged around in a drawer for a washcloth. She wet it and cleaned up the blood as best she could.

"We'll fix you up later," she said finally. "Put on a pair of jeans and let's go."

Olivia mutely obeyed and followed Abbie and her mother out to the car. Abbie climbed into the backseat with her friend and clutched her hand for the entire ride, silent save for a few quiet whimpers.

By the time they'd reached Abbie's apartment, Olivia's sobs had mostly subsided. She mutely followed Abbie upstairs.

Mrs. Carmichael offered to make the girls some hot chocolate and Abbie told Olivia to lie down on her bed. "We're going to clean up your back so it doesn't get infected," she explained gently. Olivia silently obeyed.

Abbie turned to her mother. "We need some antiseptic."

Her mother was just staring at something Abbie couldn't see. "That poor child," she murmured.

Inexplicably, Abbie felt a pang of anger at her mother. They dealt with conflicts so differently; Abbie processed them physically, but Mrs. Carmichael dealt with them emotionally. Which was fine, except pity wouldn't help Olivia now. Antiseptic would help her. A hot meal and a warm bed would help her. A good friend would help her. "Yeah, well, we need some antiseptic," she snapped.

Her mother sighed and rummaged around in the cupboard before she came up with some and handed it to Abbie.

Abbie went back to her bedroom and knelt down beside Olivia, gently applying the cream to the marks on her body. Olivia didn't even whimper as the cold cream came into contact with her battered body. She was actually surprised that Olivia was letting her touch her in such an intimate way. Olivia found it difficult to let people in and now here she was, lying across Abbie's bed, letting her fix up her welts and bruises. Abbie tried to be as gentle as she could, but Olivia didn't seem to mind the touch. She was too far gone to notice anything right now.

Abbie finished with the antiseptic and bandaged up Olivia's injuries. She handed Olivia a pair of her pajamas and she silently changed.

"You can have the bed, Liv," offered Abbie gently, using the nickname that she knew would calm her friend down. Alex and Elliot were the only ones who ever called her that, but it helped.

Olivia let out a shuddering breath, but she was clearly too exhausted to argue. She crawled into the bed, wincing as her back came into contact with the mattress, then sighed as she rested her head on the soft pillow.

Abbie's mother knocked softly on the door a moment later. She handed Abbie a sleeping bag and gave each girl a cup of hot chocolate. Her gaze lingered on the marks that covered Olivia's body for a second too long before she said quietly, "Goodnight, girls."

"'Night, Mom," said Abbie dismissively, taking the hot chocolate.

Olivia took a sip of the warm drink as Abbie rolled out her sleeping bag and lay down. "Abbie?" Olivia said suddenly.

"Yeah?" murmured Abbie.

"Why don't you sleep at night?"

Abbie sighed and took a deep breath. She wasn't sure if she wanted to answer, but she knew that she should. Olivia had shared a very vulnerable, secret part of her with Abbie tonight, a part that she'd never wanted to share with anyone before. Abbie owed her the same. "I have nightmares," she answered.

"Me, too," said Olivia softly. She hesitated. "What do you have nightmares about?"

Abbie sighed again. "My boyfriend." She took a deep breath. "Eight months ago, I met this boy. He was a jock and he became my boyfriend. He was good to me and I was _popular_. But then he started to hit me. When I did something wrong, when I said something he didn't like. And then for no reason at all." Then I was the school slut. And two months ago, he raped me. I was ashamed." She hesitated, then admitted, "Maybe I still am."

Olivia didn't say anything for what seemed like an eternity. Then she said softly, "I understand."

"Your turn," Abbie prompted her.

"My mother's boyfriend was over tonight. She was drunk and she was hitting me. And then she passed out. He came into my room. He said he couldn't have her, so he would have me. He took advantage." She said this all clinically, as if she was separating mind from her body, as if this was some far off story that she was telling, something that had happened to somebody else. Not to her. Abbie knew exactly how she felt.

Abbie didn't offer her any words of comfort because she knew they would be false. She didn't tell Olivia everything would be okay because she wasn't sure they would be. she didn't tell Olivia how brave she was because she knew that would do nothing for her. She just said, "'Night, Olivia."

Olivia flipped off the beside light. "'Night," she murmured.

Abbie didn't sleep. She tossed and turned on her sleeping bag, and she could tell by Olivia's labored breathing that she wasn't asleep either. And at four in the morning, when Olivia woke up crying again, thrashing at invisible demons, Abbie climbed up on the bed and sat beside her, wrapping her arms around her friend and giving her the comfort she knew Olivia needed now. "It's okay," she whispered soothingly. "It's just me. I'm here. You're okay."

Olivia nodded and took a deep breath. "I know." She managed a small smile. "I would say that I'm sorry I woke you, but I know you weren't asleep."

Abbie smiled in spite of herself. "I never sleep."

"That's bad for you," commented Olivia.

Abbie rolled her eyes. "Yes, doctor, I know."

Olivia shuddered. "I hate doctors."

"Me, too," agreed Abbie.

"Your mom's nice," remarked Olivia, changing the subject.

Abbie shrugged. "She's okay."

"You're lucky," said Olivia ruefully.

"I guess."

"Thank you, Abbie."

Abbie sighed. She had to do for Olivia now what she wished someone would have done for her. If she'd just had one friend, one person to support her when that awful thing happened, she might have been okay. "You're welcome," she said sincerely.

Soon, Olivia fell asleep, and Abbie went back to her sleeping bag. This time, she fell asleep, and she stayed that way until morning.

**I hope this one wasn't too bad. Review for chapter ten!**


	10. Chapter 10

The next morning, Olivia went back to school with Abbie. She held her head high, trying to be brave and not show the pain she was in, and Abbie knew firsthand just how much pain she was in. But aside from telling Olivia she was there for her, she didn't say a word.

They went their separate ways to their first period classrooms. Abbie plopped down in her seat beside Alex. "What's wrong?" asked the blonde, knitting her brows in concern when she saw the look on Abbie's face.

Abbie sighed. "Olivia."

Alex nodded understandingly. "Maybe she'll be at school today."

"She is," Abbie informed her.

Alex looked surprised for a moment, but changed the subject. "So are you ready for the test?"

"What test?"

Alex laughed. "I'll take that as a no."

Abbie shrugged. "I fail."

"You'll do fine."

"No, _you'll _do fine. You can get perfect without studying. I fail when I don't study."

"But I think I care more than you, so we're good."

Abbie laughed. "I might as well not write it."

Sure enough, when their teacher handed out the test and Abbie looked at it, she knew she was going to fail. She thought of something Olivia had once told her and smiled. The test was multiple choice, and she purposefully circled the one answer in every question that she knew was wrong.

* * *

She met up with Olivia during science class. "How was your French test?" she asked with a twinkle in her eye.

Abbie groaned. "Took a page out of the Olivia Benson playbook. Answered every question wrong."

Olivia laughed. "Alex texted me."

Abbie pretended to push invisible glasses up her nose and mimicked Alex. "_Texted _is not a real word. You should say _sent me a text message_."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Oh, no. Two of you!"

Mr. Prinze came over to the girls. "Homework," he snapped.

Olivia shrugged. "Don't got it." She was clearly using bad grammar just because she wanted to annoy him.

"I don't got it, neither," said Abbie, grinning at her friend. She did have it, but she was standing up for Olivia.

Mr. Prinze frowned but left them alone. Olivia smirked at Abbie. "You do have it, don't you?"

Abbie shrugged. "That's how the farmers in Texas talk."

"I thought they said _y'all_."

"They say that too."

Olivia grinned. "We're just a couple a' Texan hicks," she said, trying to imitate Abbie's accent and failing miserably.

Abbie laughed. "Cut that out." She opened her science textbook and turned to the appropriate page.

"I'm sharing with you," Olivia informed her, pulling the textbook so that it was resting half on her desk and half on Abbie's.

Abbie rolled her eyes. "I love how you don't _ask _me; you _tell _me."

"Well, I know you'll say yes."

Abbie put her textbook away. "No."

Olivia pouted. "Come on . . . I don't have mine."

"Where is it?"

"At home."

Abbie sighed and handed her the textbook. "Sorry."

Olivia narrowed her eyes. "Don't do that."

"What?"

"Pity me. I don't need it."

Abbie didn't answer. She didn't know what to say.

* * *

They met up with Alex at lunch; the boys had some kind of practice they needed to go to. "Hey, Liv," said Alex when she saw them, clearly trying to be nonchalant.

Abbie pretended to be insulted. "Hey, don't I get a hello too?"

Alex smiled indulgently. "I already saw you today, but hello, Abbie."

Abbie rolled her eyes. "Who actually says _hello _anymore?"

"I do."

"Stop it," said Olivia. "Let's split a pizza."

"I'll treat," offered Alex.

Olivia looked a bit uncomfortable, but she and Abbie both agreed. They sat down at a table in the cafeteria and Alex got them a small cheese pizza to share.

Olivia stayed with the Carmichaels again that night, and nothing was said about it.

_His hands were all over her, snaking down, between her legs. She tried to push his hand away, tried to say no, but her voice sounded faraway, distant even to her. "You slut," he hissed. "You're gonna pay!"_

_She tried to scream, but her voice wouldn't work. She closed her eyes and tried not to cry. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction._

Abbie woke up in a cold sweat. She checked to make sure Olivia was still asleep. She was. Thank goodness for small comforts. Then she felt the wet spot on her sheets. "Fuck!" she hissed. "No fucking way." This was the third time this had happened, and she didn't want her parents – or Olivia – to think it was a common occurrence.

She got up and started to strip down the bed, then froze when she heard movement from the floor. _Olivia_. "Is it morning?" Olivia murmured sleepily.

"No," snapped Abbie. "Go back to sleep."

Olivia obediently lay her head back down on her pillow and Abbie almost breathed a sigh of relief. Then her head snapped up as Olivia said, almost angrily, "No."

"What did you say?"

"I said no. What's wrong, Abbie?"

"Fuck you," muttered Abbie, rolling up her wet sheets and stalking out of the bedroom, toward the laundry room.

She heard footsteps behind her and forced herself not to turn around. She was not going to give Olivia the satisfaction. "Abbie –" she began.

"Shut up!" hissed Abbie, shoving the sheets into the washing machine. "You're going to wake my parents."

Olivia stood stubbornly in the doorway. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Either you do as I tell you or you get out of my house," snapped Abbie.

Olivia looked as if she'd been slapped and visibly deflated. She wrapped her arms around herself. "Okay," she said quietly. She started for the front door.

Abbie grimaced. She needed to learn to think before she spoke. She was pushing away her best friend, the one person she'd voluntarily told about her rape, the girl who needed her most right now. "Olivia, wait. I didn't mean that."

Olivia turned back, her chocolate eyes flashing, but not with anger – with _pain_. "Yes, you did." And then she was gone.

**Review for chapter eleven!**


	11. Chapter 11

**This chapter features the formidable Jack McCoy! Sorry if he's a bit out of character here; I'm not used to writing him.**

Abbie went back to bed. She didn't know what else to do. But she couldn't sleep. She'd driven away the one person who she might have actually fostered a friendship with.

She made herself some pancakes for breakfast, but couldn't force them down. She felt like she wouldn't be able to keep down anything she ate.

Her brother came into the kitchen and poured himself a bowl of cereal. "Hey, where's your friend?"

"Screw off," snarled Abbie.

Graeme dumped some milk on his cereal. "Wow, you're in _such _a good mood this morning."

"I know, right?" she said sarcastically.

"I'm supposed to take you to school today," he told her, running a hand through his unkempt hair. "Mom and Dad have to meet with that shrink again."

Abbie picked up her plate and scraped the remnants of her breakfast into the garbage. "They should just _drop _it."

"They care about you," said Graeme mildly. "You know, you're wasting food. Why don't you put those pancakes in the fridge and I'll have them later?"

Abbie deposited the last of her pancakes in the garbage. "Maybe I don't want to."

"You know Mom and Dad are only trying to help you."

"Could you just shut up?" growled Abbie. She didn't want to talk about what had happened, not to Dr. Picard or Dr. McKenna or even her own brother.

Graeme shrugged and wolfed down his cereal. Then he held the bowl to his lips and slurped the remaining milk.

"That's disgusting," Abbie told him, wrinkling her nose.

"Deal with it. We're leaving in ten, so get dressed."

Abbie sighed. "I'm not going to school today."

"Yes, you are," replied her brother. "Mom and Dad will kill me if you don't."

"Deal with it," she muttered, parroting his words.

"You know, sometimes I just want to smack you. Mom and Dad left me responsible for you. That means you need to listen to me."

She looked around for something to throw at him but came up with nothing. Instead, she turned and stomped into her bedroom, obediently throwing on jeans and a t-shirt and pulling her hair into a messy ponytail. She plodded back into the kitchen and grumbled, "Fine. Take me to school."

He saluted. "Yes, ma'am."

She punched him lightly in the shoulder and trudged out to the car. She climbed into the passenger seat, scowling as she buckled her seat belt. "You know I'm going to skip, right?"

"I wouldn't have expected any less."

"Then why do you bother?"

"Because it's my job and it's on you if you skip, not me."

"I'll tell Mom you knew about it."

"She'll be mad enough at you to forget about me," said Graeme calmly.

Abbie kicked the door. She knew he was right.

Graeme grabbed her shoulder. "Hey! Don't deface my car. If you ruin it, you replace it."

"I have no money," she muttered.

"Then don't kick it."

"Screw you."

"I'm kicking you out of my car if you can't respect it," he threatened.

"Be my guest."

"Hey, I'm doing you a favor. You should be grateful."

"Yeah, sure. When I can drive – which will be in two years – I won't need you."

"Aw, it's nice to be so wanted." He tousled Abbie's hair. "I'm glad my baby sister loves me so much."

She batted his hand away. "Yeah, yeah." She pointed to the turn he needed to take. "Go right, go right! Turning signal, you idiot." She cursed when he missed the turn. "Great, you missed it. Now turn around and go right on 53rd. I'm late."

"Why don't I just save you some time and drop you off wherever you're going to go when you skip? It can be our secret."

"I don't trust you as far as I can throw you, which isn't far because you're a gorilla."

"No, you're just a toothpick," Graeme shot back. "I'm all muscle. You're skin and bones."

"Could you just do as I tell you? Make a U-turn and take a right on 53rd."

"Why don't you drive, my annoying backseat driver?"

She scowled. "I'm not youranything."

"Honestly." He did as she'd told him and made a right turn. "What are you so worked up about?"

"Screw you," she growled, kicking the door again.

Graeme pulled over and stopped the car. "All right. Out."

Abbie got up and climbed out of the car, slamming the door behind her.

He followed her. "Hey! Where are you going?"

"You told me to get out."

"I didn't mean it!"

"Don't make empty threats," she snarled.

"Just don't kick the door, okay? I don't want to have to replace the door once you kick right through it."

"I thought I was a toothpick. How would I have the strength to do that?"

He sighed. "Just get back in. I'll take you to school. I'll get you a doughnut first, okay?"

Abbie scowled. "I can get my own doughnut."

"Hey, that was a generous offer. I'll get you a cup of coffee _and _a doughnut. My treat. You've got no money, remember?"

She sighed, the fight draining from her eyes. "I'm sorry. Just – just take me to school."

Graeme sighed, too. "Okay. Get in the car."

She climbed back into the passenger seat and they rode the rest of the way in a pregnant silence. Abbie had to go to school because she had to see Olivia. She had to make sure Olivia was okay. She had to apologize.

When they reached Abbie's school, she got out of the car and went inside. After depositing her backpack in her locker, she made her way to her French class and sat down in her seat. Alex was already there and greeted Abbie with a smile that didn't quite meet her eyes. "Are you okay, Abbie?"

She nodded. "Fine. Um, have you seen Olivia today?"

Alex shrugged. "No. Her locker's on the opposite end of the school as mine. I don't usually see her before first period. Why?"

"No reason," said Abbie, fidgeting in her seat.

"Take out your _cahiers_," Mme. Rochman called from the front of the room.

"Oh, great," muttered Abbie. "I left mine in my locker."

"We can share," offered Alex.

"No, we can't." She folded her arms, leaned back in her seat, and closed her eyes.

"What's up with you today?"

Abbie searched for a snappy retort, but she was just too tired to come up with one. She shrugged.

"Nightmares?" said Alex sympathetically.

Abbie's head snapped up. "No!"

Alex raised her hands in surrender. "Okay, okay! Calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down," snarled Abbie.

Mme. Rochman started to hand out their French tests. Abbie had, predictably, failed. Alex had, just as predictably, got perfect. "I was very disappointed with your marks," lectured their teacher. "The only person who got higher than a seventy was Alexandra."

"As usual," muttered a kid sitting a few seats away, whose name Abbie thought was Fin.

Alex tried not to look too pleased with herself as the rest of the class glared at her.

French class went by at a snail's pace, and when it was finally over, Abbie all but ran to science class.

Olivia was already there when Abbie arrived, scribbling away at her science homework. Abbie plopped down in her seat and ventured, "Hey."

Olivia turned so that her back was to Abbie and ignored her.

"Liv," said Abbie tentatively. "I'm sorry about what I said last night."

Still, Olivia didn't reply.

"I didn't mean it," added Abbie.

Olivia went back to her science homework, seemingly disinterested in anything Abbie might have to say. She started to fill in the periodic table.

"You were really good to me when I first came here and you didn't deserve that," Abbie rushed on. "You were only trying to help."

Olivia filled in hydrogen and helium, continuing to ignore Abbie.

"Can you forgive me?"

Olivia labeled the alkaline metals and didn't say a word.

Abbie swallowed. "You can still stay at my place if you want to."

Olivia didn't answer.

"Liv, I'm really sorry."

Olivia wasn't listening, so Abbie gave up. She opened her science textbook to the appropriate page and started to copy a note of the blackboard. She got as far as the date and the title before her pencil broke.

"Shit," she muttered, rummaging around in her backpack for another pencil but not finding one. "That's just great." She tapped Olivia on the shoulder to get her attention. "Can I borrow a pencil or a pencil sharpener or something equivalent to either of the above?"

"No," snapped Olivia.

Abbie sighed. She deserved that. She turned around in her seat. "Melinda, can I borrow a pencil?"

The girl sitting behind her handed Abbie a pencil. "You can keep it," she said. "I've got a bunch."

"Thanks," replied Abbie, half-sarcastically.

After class, Olivia stalked off without saying a word to Abbie. Abbie tried to catch up to her, but soon Olivia was lost in the throng of students rushing toward the cafeteria.

She sighed and went to meet Alex, Elliot, and Trevor. There was another boy sitting with them. He was tall, with short brown hair and brown eyes.

"This is Jack," Trevor introduced him. "He's new. He's in my law class."

Abbie managed a smile, even though she was preoccupied with Olivia. She remembered how hard it was to be new in the middle of the year – actually, it still was.

"So where's Benson?" asked Elliot, not directing his question at anyone in particular.

Abbie shrugged.

"Is she here today?"

Abbie nodded. "I saw her in science. She's kind of mad at me, though."

Elliot raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

Abbie shrugged. She didn't feel like getting into this with Elliot right now. "No idea."

"That's not like Liv," he commented. "I guess it's just you."

She narrowed her eyes. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

He shrugged. "You two are too alike."

Abbie rolled her eyes.

"Hey, that's a compliment."

"No, it's a statement of fact."

"Oh, God, now you're starting to sound like Alex."

She turned her back on Elliot and looked at Jack. "Jack, right?" He nodded, and she asked, "So where'd you move here from?"

"Massachusetts," he told her.

"How come?" She knew in the back of her mind that she shouldn't ask, because she hadn't wanted anyone to ask her, but she was trying to divert the conversation from Olivia and herself. Jack was a good distraction.

"To be closer to my grandmother. She's sick – cancer – and my mother was tired of commuting every weekend."

"Are you close with her?"

Jack shrugged. "Not really, but my mother is."

Abbie nodded. Then she realized she didn't really know what else to ask him that was relatively benign and non-invasive. Making small talk with boys wasn't her specialty – she hadn't done it in months. And now she was always second guessing what she should and shouldn't say. "What classes do you have this term?"

Jack pulled out his schedule. "In the morning I have law, then math, and after lunch English and French."

"Cool," said Abbie. "We have English together after lunch. Actually, everyone except Trevor does – me, Elliot, Alex, and Olivia." Whoops. She hadn't wanted to talk about Olivia.

And shit, Jack had noticed. "Who's Olivia?"

"Oh, um, one of our friends. Elliot's girlfriend." _Good save, Carmichael._

"Where is she?"

_Not such a good save, Carmichael. _"I don't know. She doesn't always eat with us."

Elliot gave her a strange look. "Yeah, she does."

"Well, not today," snapped Abbie, and Elliot had the good sense to drop it.

"Miss me?" came a sharp voice from behind them. _Olivia._

Elliot moved one seat over so Olivia could sit down. "Hey, Liv. Where were you?"

She shrugged. "Picking up lunch. I got an extremely overpriced bagel from that place across the street."

Abbie couldn't stop herself from asking snidely, "Where'd you get the money for an extremely overpriced bagel from that place across the street?" _Great. Smooth move, Carmichael. She's going to hit you._

But Olivia just shrugged. "Found it."

"Stole it," supplied Elliot.

"Same thing," she said dismissively.

"Depends where you steal it _from_."

"Stole it from the kitchen table a few days ago. She owes me, anyway."

Elliot nodded his concurrence. "She does." Then he gestured to Jack. "Oh, Liv, this is Jack. He's new. Jack, this is Olivia, our very own badass."

"Badass Benson," agreed Olivia.

Abbie leaned toward Olivia so only she could hear. "Olivia – are we good?"

Olivia sighed. "I got put in emergency foster care last night because they found me sleeping on the streets. No, we're not good."

"I'm sorry, Liv." Abbie felt horrible. "I shouldn't have said –"

Olivia rested her chin on her hands. "It's not really anyone's fault. It was bound to happen someday. And I'm safe now. So really, I should be thanking you."

Abbie just stared at her. "So, are we –"

Olivia sighed again. "Yeah, we're good. I'm safe now, I guess, and that's what matters. I'm okay. And Abbie?" She waited for Abbie to meet her eyes, then said in an undertone, "You will be too."

**Review for chapter twelve!**


	12. Chapter 12

**To answer lucy's question, _Actus Reus _is Latin for _A Guilty Act_. It's not copyrighted. By the way, I know Abbie might seem annoying, but she's a teenage girl, and they can be annoying sometimes. I know because I am one. :)**

And just like that, there were no more bruises, no more black eyes, no more blood. Just like that, Olivia had lunch money and clothes that fit her and school supplies. It wasn't perfect, but three weeks later, Olivia had a relatively permanent foster home – she was going to stay there for the immediate future anyway. There were two other kids there, six-year-old twins, but Olivia didn't really mind. Her foster parents were good to her and they seemed to actually care for her and the other children. For her, at least, things were better.

For Abbie, things were worse. She still couldn't sleep and she was constantly on her guard. Her grades started to plummet because she wasn't sleeping and couldn't concentrate on her schoolwork. Dr. McKenna diagnosed her with depression and wanted to put her on Prozac, but Abbie refused, reiterating that she did not inject foreign substances into her body. She almost thought she'd hit rock bottom, but of course there was farther to fall.

They were eating lunch, Alex, Olivia, Elliot, Trevor, Jack, and Abbie, when Abbie noticed a boy with sandy hair and cold, cold eyes on the opposite end of the cafeteria. The color drained from her face and she suddenly couldn't breathe. She tugged on Olivia's arm. "I'm going – out – for a walk," she managed, trying desperately to maintain her composure until she could get out of there. How was this possible? How had he managed to follow her here?"

"I'll come with you," said Olivia quickly.

Abbie gave her a weak smile. "That's okay."

"No, really. I need some air, too."

Abbie let out the breath she'd been holding. Olivia understood. "Okay." With as much self-control as she could muster, she managed to walk rather than run out of the cafeteria with her head held high.

She started to run as soon as she was out of the cafeteria, Olivia at her heels. It was okay. She didn't need to put on a show for Olivia. Olivia already knew her most shameful secret, and she knew Olivia's. It was okay.

They went outside and leaned against the brick wall. "Breathe," Olivia told her.

Abbie inhaled a shaky breath. She was almost hyperventilating and she knew she needed to calm down. She also knew that she should call her mother, Dr. McKenna, even Dr. Picard. But she didn't, because she couldn't. Abbie Carmichael had never been good at asking for help, even when she needed it, which was sometimes difficult to discern.

"So what's wrong?" asked Olivia. When Abbie hesitated, she added, "You were there for me when I needed you, Abbie. Let me do the same."

Abbie sighed. "When did you become so diplomatic?"

"If I were Alex, I would tell you that you're misusing the term," replied Olivia good-naturedly.

"But you're not Alex." Abbie was gradually relaxing in Olivia's comforting presence and her trembling had mostly abated.

"So, do you want to tell me what the problem is or should I play one of those guessing games you're so fond of?"

Abbie stared at her.

"What?"

"I'm trying to decide whether you sound more like my mother or my shrink."

Olivia laughed. "I wouldn't know. I've really never had either."

But she was joking, not being self-deprecating, and Abbie marvelled at how she could joke about her dire circumstances. She knew she would never be able to get that far. She would never be able to come to terms with what had been done to her, simply for that reason. Abbie liked to control things, and what had happened had been beyond her control. That was what made it so hard.

"You know, Abbie, I'm only trying to help."

"Just like I tried to help you," bit out Abbie.

But Olivia didn't seem bothered in the slightest. "You did help me."

Abbie shook her head in wonderment. "I can't believe I'm talking to the same person."

"You're not."

Abbie didn't even try to decipher what that meant. Olivia sometimes talked in riddles, and Abbie didn't have the time or the patience to decode her cryptic words.

"Abigail." The voice startled her from her thoughts and her face turned white as she immediately recognized it. It was _his _voice. How had he gotten here?

Abbie started to shiver, but she forced herself to remain calm. "Get the fuck out of my face," she snapped, forcing herself to keep her voice level.

He looked hurt. "I would have thought you'd be happy to see me after such a long time." He wrapped an arm around her. "I missed you, babe."

She grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back. She wasn't stronger than he was, but she had the element of surprise on her side, and it worked. She saw the shock in his eyes, that little Abbie Carmichael had actually fought back. Well, she wasn't little anymore, and she would fight to the end. She wasn't going to live in fear anymore. No, not anymore. "You so much as lay a hand on me, I will make you wish you'd never been born," she hissed. "I haven't forgotten."

He raised an eyebrow and yanked his arm away. "Neither have I. So why don't we pick up where we left off?"

"Fuck you," she snarled, then turned to Olivia, who was watching the dynamic unfolding before her with interest, ready to step in if need be. But Abbie didn't need her. She could take care of herself. She had to.

Surprisingly, he shrugged and started off. But first, he turned and called, "I'll see you later, Abigail."

She was trembling, but she was all right. Or at least, that was what she told herself when her knees buckled and she grabbed Olivia's shoulder to keep herself from collapsing in a ball at Olivia's feet.

"You okay?" asked Olivia, taking Abbie's arm to steady her.

Abbie let out a shaky breath. "I think so."

"Was that –?"

Abbie nodded. Surprisingly, she found that she didn't even mind talking about it to Olivia. Olivia, even though her current beyond-her-years maturity was a bit annoying, was her best friend. And moreover, she understood.

"So what are you going to do?"

Abbie almost asked, "What do you think I should do?" but she bit back the words. They would make her sound too needy. No matter how much she trusted Olivia, she refused to appear dependent. She was stronger than that. Instead, she said, "I don't know." Then her façade slipped. "He followed me here! He's never going to leave me alone." She tried not to cry out of pure desperation. "I don't want to have to move again!"

Olivia hesitated. "What he did to you –" She clearly wasn't sure how to ask the question. "Why isn't he in jail now?"

"It doesn't always work that way," she snapped, then realized how uncalled for that was. Olivia was just trying to help. She managed to smile through the tears that were welling up in her eyes. "Sorry. Defence mechanism." Olivia nodded encouragingly, and Abbie said in a small voice, "I testified. It wasn't worth it. He got off."

"Oh," was all Olivia could think of to say. "You could get a restraining order."

Abbie tried to laugh, but couldn't quite manage it. She grimaced instead. "I wish I could see things the way you do."

"What's _that _supposed to mean?"

"Black and white," clarified Abbie.

"He raped you. What's gray about that?"

She looked at the ground. "To put it frankly, when I was at my old school, I was a slut." She tried to pretend it didn't bother her, but it did, because she knew it was her fault. "He was my boyfriend. I led him on." Even as she said this, she knew it wasn't true. She'd been drugged. She couldn't have consented even if she had wanted sex. Which she hadn't.

"Whether or not that's true, it doesn't justify what he did."

Abbie groaned. "Now you definitely sound like my therapist."

Olivia cocked her head. "Maybe." She hesitated. "Are you going to tell your parents?"

Abbie shook her head. "No way in hell." She knew this was something Olivia could understand.

"So you're just going to – for lack of a better phrase – deal with it?"

Abbie shrugged. "Life goes on." But it didn't, really. Not for her. She wasn't even living now, just going through the motions. As she'd explained to Dr. McKenna, what did her happiness matter as long as she was productive? Relative to the huge world, she was just another tiny person, and whether she was happy or miserable was irrelevant. And that was what she told herself on her worst days.

"But what does that mean?"

"Let's not get all philosophical," Abbie said mockingly, then winced. "Sorry," she apologized again. "Defence mechanism." She thought of something Dr. McKenna had said. "I push people away before they get too close."

Olivia smiled wanly. "Me, too."

"We're just two of a kind." Even Abbie wasn't sure if she was being sarcastic or serious.

"If you need anything . . . I mean, I'm sure Elliot would beat the crap out of him for you if I asked him."

Abbie managed a small smile. "I'll hold you to that."

Olivia instinctively rested a hand on Abbie's shoulder. "I'm here for you, Abbie. We all are."

Abbie lowered her eyes and nodded. "I know."

"Do you?"

It was an innocent question but it infuriated Abbie. She almost snapped at Olivia and said something she knew she'd regret, but she took a moment and got her anger under control. She locked eyes with Olivia. "Yeah."

Olivia nodded. "Okay." She hesitated. "Do you want to go back inside?"

Abbie shook her head. "You can. But I think I want to stay out here for a bit."

"I'll stay with you."

Abbie almost refused, but she caught herself. She gave Olivia a smile. "Thanks."

Olivia smiled back. "No problem."

They sat in silence until the bell rang. Abbie took a deep breath, but then she made a decision. She was going to be strong. She had to be.

She and Olivia stopped by their lockers and went to their English class. Alex, Jack, and Elliot were already there. Elliot gave Olivia a strange look, but she shook her head almost imperceptibly, and he got the message.

They didn't have assigned seats, but the five of them always sat together. Today, Abbie plopped down between Olivia and Jack at the front of the room. Alex said she needed to sit at the front so she could see the board, but none of the others were buying it. They knew that she just liked sitting at the front.

And then . . . _he _appeared. Flashing Abbie his most winsome smile, he ran a hand through her hair and plopped down on Jack's other side. "Hey, Abigail," he said lightly. "We're in the same class. Isn't that cool?"

Abbie turned to Olivia, who was seething, ready to smack him if need be. Jack was just staring at her, clearly puzzled.

She glared at _him_. "What did I tell you about staying away from me?"

He shrugged. "Hey, I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm in this class too."

Olivia met Abbie's eyes and deliberately got up from her seat. She motioned for Abbie to follow her and walked away, sitting down on a chair on the other side of the room. Abbie lowered herself onto a seat beside her friend and concentrated on breathing as Alex, Jack, and Elliot followed a few moments later, erecting a protective cocoon around Abbie. She had Alex and Jack on one side and Elliot and Olivia on the other.

_He _gave her a wink and walked toward them, perching on the desk beside Alex. This time, he didn't speak to Abbie. He turned to Alex and said, "Hey, babe. Is it hot in here or is it just you?"

Alex rolled her eyes. "Choose one girl to hit on and stick with her. And make sure that girl isn't me . . . or Abbie . . . or anyone with 20/20 vision, because you'll lose her in a second."

He was momentarily daunted, then shrugged, sitting down at the desk beside Alex's.

"Get lost," she snapped, glancing at Abbie, who'd started to tremble. Abbie knew that Alex didn't know the entire story behind her fear, but she knew this was important to Abbie, and Abbie was grateful.

He shrugged again. "Hey, it's a free country. I'm just sitting. And that's _such_ a nice way to treat a new student."

"I'm not a very nice person," said Alex mildly.

"Well, sitting next to a hot babe, mean as she may be, is top on my to-do list today."

She slid closer to Jack. "I'm taken."

"Not for long. I'm sure I can win you over."

Abbie was almost glad that he'd found bigger fish to fry and he wasn't focussing on her, and then she felt bad, because now he was on to Alex. And Alex was Abbie's friend. She didn't want Alex to get hurt. And she knew that he _would_ hurt her.

No. Alex could take care of herself.

But then, she'd thought the same thing. Look how wrong she'd been.

"Get lost," snapped Abbie, shooing him with her hand like he was a pesky insect.

"Or what? You'll tell the teacher?" he mocked her, then turned his attention back to Alex, wrapping an arm around her neck. "My parents are away for the weekend. I've got the house all to myself."

Alex grabbed his arm and twisted it hard. "You touch me again, I'll put your balls in a blender." She pushed him away and he almost fell off his chair, grabbing the desk to regain his balance. But he didn't appear particularly perturbed.

"Oooh. I like my girls feisty."

"Do you like your head _attached_?"

"Alex!" A voice interrupted their verbal sparring, and Abbie turned to see Ms. Berg standing behind them. She gave Alex a stern look, then her expression softened as she handed Alex a test that they'd written last week. Alex glanced at her mark and tried not to look too proud of herself. The two of them shared a smile, then Ms. Berg handed Elliot, Abbie, and Jack back their tests.

Olivia folded her arms. "Where's mine?"

Ms. Berg smiled good-naturedly; she was used to Olivia and her "Badass Benson" attitude by now. She rummaged around in the pile of tests and handed one to Olivia. "Good job."

Olivia grinned when she saw her mark. "87!" she crowed, then turned to Alex. "Let me guess: perfect."

Alex smiled and nodded.

"Wow, smart, feisty, _and _hot. A triple threat."

Alex pierced _him _with a look of utter disgust. "Fuck you."

"I'd love to," he said with a smile that was supposed to appear charming, but instead looked perfectly predatory. Like a threat.

"Alex!" They'd forgotten that Ms. Berg was still standing there. Then she fixed _him _with a strict look. "You watch what you say, young man."

"My name is Damien," he said lazily.

Ms. Berg looked from Alex to Abbie, who was trying not to tremble. She was trying to relax her face into an expression of nonchalance, but her body betrayed her. "Is _Damien_ bothering you?" She was looking at Alex, but the question was directed at Abbie.

Abbie didn't know what to say, and she was glad when Olivia jumped in and said, "Yeah, he is. Could you please tell him to –?"

"Okay, I don't really think you need to finish that sentence, Olivia," said Ms. Berg, then turned to _him_. "Go sit next to Fin."

"Who's this _Fin_?" he asked.

Ms. Berg pointed him out and _he _grudgingly picked up his books and sat down beside Fin on the other side of the room.

Abbie leaned toward Alex. "He's fixated on you, Alex," she murmured. "Be careful."

Alex glanced at him, then turned back to Abbie, her face set. "We'll see."

**Review for chapter thirteen!**


	13. Chapter 13

Abbie's insomnia had returned full-force. She spent the night tossing and turning until her brother finally knocked on the door and snapped, "Your room is right beside mine and I can't sleep when you're moving around like that. Could you _stop_?"

"Shut up," she growled. "How do you even know that I'm moving around?"

"Vibrations," he explained.

"_Oh_," said Abbie sarcastically. "That explains _everything_."

"Could you stop being such a bitch? Take those stupid pills your stupid shrink gave you and go to bed. Maybe then you wouldn't be so cranky all the time."

She gaped at him for a moment, astonished that he dared to say such a thing. Then the fight drained from her eyes, because she knew she'd deserved that. "Sorry. I'll try to be quieter."

Graeme just stared at her, and Abbie knew why. She had never before given in so easily. But he turned on his heel and left, and that was what she had wanted.

She rolled over so she was facing the wall and cradled her head in her hands. She didn't sleep. She couldn't. She just stared.

* * *

Abbie was momentarily daunted when she realized that _he _was also in her French class. That was just great. She stuck close to Alex, who tossed her head and gave him an earful when he tried to get close, which worked for the moment.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Abbie, but is he the one –?" She just decided to come out with it. "Is the he the one you have nightmares about?"

Abbie was too emotionally drained to even be upset at the question. She just nodded. "Stay away from him, Alex. Don't let yourself get hurt like I did."

Alex gave Abbie's shoulder a comforting squeeze. "If there's anything I can do –"

"There's not," snapped Abbie. Then in a calmer voice, she added, "But thanks anyway."

As if on cue, he sauntered toward them and plopped himself down in the chair beside Alex, wrapping an arm around. "Hey, babe. How's it going?"

She batted his hand away. "You stay away from us!"

"Us, as in you and _that _slut?" He gestured to Abbie.

"She's not a slut," snapped Alex. "She's my friend. And if you can't leave us alone, I swear to God I'll have my parents charge you with harassment and you'll get thrown in jail."

He smirked. "_Right_."

"Do you know who my parents are?"

He shrugged. "No. Nor do I care."

"They're William and Marianna Cabot. They have more money than you could ever dream of and they could get your sorry ass tossed in jail before you could even utter a single apology."

He stared at her for a moment, then smirked again, but obediently got up and trotted away. "But you –" he said, pointing at Abbie, "– haven't seen the last of me."

Abbie regarded Alex with a mix of admiration and disdain. Alex usually didn't flaunt her parents' social status like that. But then, she was glad that she had a friend to stand up for her. That would be useful in the long run. She swallowed her pride and murmured, "Thanks, Alex."

Alex gave her a wan smile. "Don't mention it."

* * *

Abbie stuck close to her friends for the entire day. There was safety in numbers, she supposed.

She was unsettled, but unsurprised, when she realized that he was in every single one of her classes. She made sure she never went anywhere by herself, but then she decided that she couldn't go on like this. She couldn't live in fear. She _wouldn't _live in fear. She had to get over him. She couldn't let him control her. She couldn't let him rule her life like this. If she did, he won. And she couldn't let him win.

She'd spent the last four months trying to be strong, indifferent, detached. She couldn't do it anymore. She had to either take a stand or keep running. And the latter wasn't feasible at this point, so she didn't really have a choice. She would have to face her fear.

When he tried to approach them at lunch, Olivia told him to, "fuck off, or I'll rearrange your teeth." He raised his eyebrows, winked in the general direction of Abbie and Alex, before turning on his heel and walking away. "You okay?" Olivia asked Abbie, and she nodded, because she was. For now.

* * *

Alex came to school the next day looking as if she hadn't slept at all the night before, her face even paler than it usually was, dark circles beneath her eyes. She plopped down in her seat, her usual grace absent from the gesture, and rubbed her eyes.

Abbie couldn't resist raising her eyebrow and commenting, "You look like me."

Alex fixed Abbie with her icy gaze and didn't say a word.

Abbie suppressed her smirk. "Now you _really _look like me."

Alex picked up her books, shooting Abbie one more glare, and started to walk away. But Abbie grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Hey, I'm sorry. What's wrong?"

Abbie sighed and lowered herself back onto the chair. "It's Damien."

Abbie flinched at his name, her barely suppressed smirk disappearing in an instant. "What about him?"

"He called me last night." Alex took a deep breath. "Twenty-six times." She met Abbie's eyes. "How did he get my number?"

"I certainly didn't give it to him!" snapped Abbie. Then she realized that Alex's gaze wasn't at all accusatory, just questioning, and she sighed, shrugging helplessly. "He has his ways."

Alex, for the first time since Abbie had known her, looked unnerved. "Okay, so give me your infinite words of wisdom."

Abbie loved how both Alex and Olivia could match her wit . . . and her sarcasm. It was nice. But this was serious. "Actually, I don't have any."

"He called me _twenty-six _times, Abbie! Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"What do you want me to tell you?" snapped Abbie. "If you want my advice, I would say run, because that's what I did. But guess what – it hasn't really worked for me. So you're the smart one. Figure it out."

Alex just stared at her for a moment. "Take a Midol. The last time I checked, I was –"

Abbie pulled a clump of her own hair in frustration. "Why does everyone keep telling me to take fucking _pills_?"

"Don't you think they might have a point?"

"I don't inject foreign substances into my body," said Abbie primly.

"Maybe they would _help_."

"Okay, you know what? Deal with him yourself. I'm just glad he's not onto me. You'll end up just like I did, lying on a bed somewhere with your pants around your ankles and wondering how you got there."

That stopped Alex in her tracks. "_What_?"

"Fuck you," Abbie hissed.

But Alex was no longer interested in their argument. For the first time since Abbie had known her, she abandoned the fight and said in a much gentler, more level tone, "What did he do to you, Abbie?"

The fight drained out of Abbie at Alex's words and she sighed. "He raped me. He beat me, and then one night he drugged me and he raped me. That's how it is with him. And if you're not careful, you'll find yourself in that same place."

Alex blinked. "Why didn't you –?"

"Why didn't I press charges? Oh, I did. He got off. It was a waste of time."

"What about a restraining order?"

Abbie bit back the retort that came to mind. She wanted to tell Alex she was a child, but she couldn't say that, so she just sighed. "It's just a piece of paper."

"Would it make you feel better?"

Abbie shrugged. "A restraining order wouldn't stop a real psycho."

"Do you think he _is_ a real psycho?"

"I don't know," admitted Abbie. "But I don't think I want to."

And then Alex hugged her. Abbie flinched at first, just because it was unexpected, but then she found that she didn't mind. "I'm sorry," Alex murmured.

Abbie shrugged, too worn out to pick another fight. "You didn't know." But then she saw the fear in Alex's eyes, and she knew her friend was worried that what had happened to Abbie would happen to her. And Abbie felt bad all over again, because she realized how cruel it had been to tell Alex that it _might_. It was true, but that didn't make it okay. "He's not going to hurt you, because you know what he is, and you're going to take precautions so he doesn't." It was all she could think of to say, to make up for her earlier words.

Alex sighed, then looked up at Abbie and admitted, "I'm scared."

"Me, too," Abbie confessed.

"Well, he's got his sights set on me now," Alex said dryly. "So I think you're okay."

"Well, some girls fight with their best friends over a guy. We're the other way around," remarked Abbie.

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Aren't we just a breath of fresh air."

Abbie sighed. "No, seriously. If he's harassing you, tell someone. Someone who can help, I mean. I don't want you to get hurt like I did."

Alex sighed too. "Wow. This is just . . . wow."

Alex Cabot at a loss for words. Abbie marvelled at that for a minute. She'd never thought she'd see the day.

And that was when _he _entered the room. He dropped his books at his desk and sauntered toward the girls, plopping himself down beside Alex and wrapping an arm around her shoulder. Alex looked disgusted and pulled away.

"Ooh," he said, grinning. "_Someone's_ playing hard to get."

"No, _someone's _going to knock your teeth down your throat if you don't leave us alone."

He glanced at Mme. Rochman, than back at Alex. "In front of her?"

"Don't tempt me," growled Alex.

He laughed in her face. "You wouldn't."

"Yes, actually, I would."

"Go ahead."

Abbie, even though the wicked part of her badly wanted to see this, put a hand on Alex's arm to stop her. "He's not worth it."

Alex quirked an eyebrow. "So I'm told."

He scooted closer to her. "Well, smack me or fuck me, I don't care which. I like my babes feisty."

"Guess what? I'm not your babe."

"Oh, you will be."

She pulled away again. "Is that a _threat_?"

"No, darlin'. That's a promise."

"You are –"

"What, a player? A bastard? A son of a bitch? I've heard it all before, babe."

Alex glanced at Abbie, who was just sitting there, frozen. "I was going to say, 'You're unbelievable,' but I'm sure I can think of a better way to say it."

Mme. Rochman clapped her hands and called, "Please takes your seats, _mes élèves_."

He grinned at Alex. "See you at lunch, babe." He sauntered back to his seat.

"We'll see," she said in the icy voice that made everyone, even fiery Olivia, stop and think twice.

But he didn't seem bothered and didn't even spare her a second glance as he sat down and clasped his hands.

"I'm going to talk to the principal if he continues to harass us," decided Alex in a tone that left no room for negotiation. "Are you with me?"

Abbie nodded. "But isn't it practically impossible to get a meeting with him?"

Alex shrugged dismissively. "I'll have my parents call first. Don't worry about it. One of those times when the old Cabot name actually comes in handy."

Abbie raised an eyebrow. "Just one?"

She smiled. "Well, aside from the secure trust fund, the world travelling, the designer outfits . . . yes, just one."

Abbie rolled her eyes. "You know, I envy you."

"Don't. My life isn't as perfect as it looks."

"_Right_. Neither is mine, as you see."

"Okay, maybe not as bad as yours," amended Alex. "But my parents aren't home a lot. I miss them."

That was something Abbie wished she understood. Her parents wanted nothing more than to help her and to make all her pain go away. They loved her, but they went about it the wrong way. Yet she was the one pushing them away, when all they wanted was to hold her close. The simple truth of Alex's admission jarred her for a moment, and she had to take a moment to think about what to say. She'd definitely met her match in Alex Cabot. "My parents –" And then she stopped, unsure how to put it without sounding completely corny. "My parents aren't home a lot either. I mean, physically they are, but emotionally, they have no idea how to deal with this – with me." She looked at the ground. "I push them away, even though I know I shouldn't." Then she was surprised at herself, how candid she'd been with Alex.

Alex just looked at her through sad blue eyes. "Take advantage of it," she said quietly. "They love you. Try to let them in."

She almost snorted. Where did Alex get off, telling her how to deal with her parents, how to solve her problems? Alex didn't know. Saying she should let them in was one thing, but actually _doing_ it was a completely different animal. But then she realized that Alex probably understood, and she wasn't trying to boss Abbie around – she was just trying to give her advice, and Abbie couldn't fault her for that.

"Thanks," said Abbie quietly, and she meant it.

**Okay, Abbie gets slightly less, for lack of a better word, "bitchy" in the next few chapters. Review for chapter fourteen!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Sorry these updates have been relatively irregular; I've been busy. I'll try to get the next one up faster. And I know this one relies heavily on dialogue, but I hope it's okay. Enjoy!**

Abbie's mother picked her up from school that day. Abbie took a deep breath and remembered the resolution she'd made earlier – to make an effort. She climbed into the passenger seat and leaned over to give her mother a kiss. "Hey, Mom. How was work?"

Her mother looked absolutely shocked. "It was good," she stammered, then glanced at Abbie. "Is something wrong?"

Abbie shrugged. "No. I just wanted to tell you I love you. I don't tell you enough."

"Right . . ." Mrs. Carmichael was still staring at Abbie as if she'd gone crazy. "Are you okay?"

Abbie nodded, buckling her seatbelt. "Yeah."

Her mother smiled and reached out to run a hand through Abbie's long, dark hair. "How was school, honey?"

"Good." Then she remembered what Dr. McKenna had said about responsiveness. "Um, we have to write persuasive comparative essays for English. What do you think I should write about?"

Mrs. Carmichael beamed at her daughter, and then Abbie felt bad, because she realized how much this meant to her mother and it was so _easy_. It actually took less effort to be nice than it took to be mean. "What are your choices?"

Abbie shrugged. "Anything comparative, like _which is harder, being a girl or a boy? _But I think I want to do something more sophisticated than that. I might as well get extra marks where I can."

Her mother nodded. "Do you want to do some kind of heavy social issue or something slightly more simple?"

"The more complex, the better, I guess."

"You could do something on capital punishment, whether you feel it's appropriate or inappropriate," suggested Mrs. Carmichael, smiling slightly. "We all know you have a strong opinion about that."

Abbie smiled too. "That's a good idea."

Her mother cocked her head and turned to look at Abbie. "You know, sometimes I don't understand you."

"What do you mean?" asked Abbie, although she was pretty sure she understood.

Mrs. Carmichael shook her head slightly, as if to clear it. "I just – you – are you sure you're okay?"

Abbie rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to go home and string myself up in my closet or OD and those stupid sedatives Dr. Picard gave me. Don't worry, Mom."

"Ah, _this _is the familiar Abbie Carmichael."

Abbie smiled in spite of herself. Then she thought of the advice she'd given Alex earlier, and then the advice Alex had given her. "Mom, I want to tell you something, but I want you to promise me that you won't do anything about it unless I ask you to." Her mother looked a bit uncertain, and Abbie rushed on, "I want to talk to you. I want to trust you, but I need you to promise me that first."

Although she still looked a bit reluctant, Mrs. Carmichael nodded. "You can tell me anything, Abbie."

She knew that wasn't true, but she was going to take a chance anyway. She hoped it wouldn't backfire. Taking a deep breath, she said, "It's Damien."

"What about him?"

Abbie waited a beat, then just said it bluntly. "He followed me here. He's in all of my classes and he won't leave me alone. And now he's become infatuated with Alex and I'm scared he'll hurt her."

Her mother regarded her with concern. "How long has he been here for?"

Abbie forced herself to meet her mother's eyes. "A week."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Abbie sighed. "I thought I could handle it. I still think I can. Alex and I are going to talk to the principal tomorrow about him harassing us. There's a difference between being a rat and protecting yourself, so it's fine. I just wanted to tell you – just in case."

Mrs. Carmichael still looked worried, but she nodded slowly. "Thanks for telling me, Abbie. I could talk to –"

"No, Mom. I can handle it."

Her mother sighed. "All right. But if you get in over your head, you can always come to me."

Abbie nodded. "I know."

* * *

The next morning, Abbie met Alex in the foyer before school. "We have a meeting with Mr. De Silva in ten minutes," Alex informed her.

Abbie raised her eyebrows. "_Really_?"

Alex's deep blue eyes twinkled. "The Cabot name has a lot of pull."

Abbie nodded, accepting this. "Okay." She took a deep breath. "Let's go."

They sat down on two of the uncomfortable chairs in the main office and waited. About ten minutes later, Mr. De Silva came out of his office and scanned the area, his eyes finally resting on Alex. He gave her a smile. "You must be Alex." He held out his hand. "It's nice to meet you."

Abbie raised her eyebrows, but Alex seemed to be used to this treatment because she said coolly, "This is my friend Abbie."

He gave Abbie a brief nod, then turned back to Alex. "Come on in."

Alex beckoned for Abbie to follow her, but Abbie knew her presence would be neither useful nor welcomed, and she shook her head. _It's okay_, she mouthed when she saw the look of confusion on Alex's face.

Alex shrugged almost imperceptibly and followed the principal into his office.

Abbie was actually surprised to find that she wasn't angry, but _relieved_. She hadn't really wanted to be the one to tell Mr. De Silva about _him _anyway. She plopped back down on a chair and waited.

One of the secretaries peered at Abbie over her glasses. "Don't you have somewhere to be?"

Abbie nodded curtly. "Yeah, _here_."

The secretary raised her eyebrows but didn't comment any further.

Abbie kicked the chair legs for a moment, then stilled her feet when she realized what she was doing. She wasn't going to start this again.

Alex came out about twenty minutes later, a grim smile on her face. "He won't be bothering us anymore," she said calmly.

Abbie followed her toward their first period class. "Do you want to tell me how you managed that?"

Alex shrugged. "Not particularly."

Abbie raised her eyebrows. "Okay then."

They sat down in their seats and surprisingly – or maybe not so surprisingly – he didn't show up throughout class. He didn't show up during second period and they didn't see him at lunch.

Alex rolled her eyes when Abbie commented on this. "Ye of little faith. I told you he wouldn't be bothering us again – ever."

"Suspended?"

Alex couldn't quite suppress her smirk. "_Expelled_."

"Impressive."

Alex shrugged. "Not really."

"You're not telling me that the Cabot name made that happen too?"

"Well, I might have threatened to go to the school board . . . and the media . . . and the police."

"_Right_."

"I would have."

"I know." Abbie hesitated. "Thank you, Alex."

Alex smiled. "No problem."

They sat down at their usual table in the cafeteria, where Elliot and Olivia were already waiting, having a heavy-duty makeout session.

Abbie averted her eyes. "Whoa. Get a room or something."

They broke apart, a bit sheepishly, and Olivia ran a hand through her hair. "Hey."

Jack and Trevor appeared a moment later and sat down next to Elliot. "Hey, where's stalker-boy?" asked Trevor.

Alex shot him a dirty look. "Shut up, Trevor."

"Hey!" He looked insulted. "I was just kidding."

"Sometimes I wonder if your IQ is larger than your shoe size," commented Alex, rolling her eyes. "I know your level of social tact isn't."

Even he knew better than to get into a verbal spar with Alex. She could argue circles around him in her sleep, and they all knew better than to try to match her in that area.

"To answer your question, 'stalker-boy' was expelled. He ain't never coming back." She couldn't quite manage to suppress her self-satisfied smirk.

Olivia fell off her chair and narrowly avoided hitting her head on the cafeteria table.

Alex stared at her, holding out her hand to help Olivia up. "What?"

Olivia ignored Alex's outstretched hand and got to her feet. "Who are you and what did you do to the real Alex Cabot?"

"She got made dead." Alex grinned at the look on Olivia's face and adjusted her glasses.

Olivia glanced around the table and said in a stage whisper, "I think I just heard Alex Cabot use a double negative. Am I paracusiating or did that really just happen?"

Alex scrunched up her face. "What on Earth is _paracusiating_?"

Olivia heaved a theatrical gasp. "Now I _know_ you're not the real Alex Cabot. Do I actually know a word that you don't?"

Alex looked amused. "Okay, o brilliant one. Define it."

"Paracusia. Auditory hallucination."

She looked so proud of herself that Alex laughed. "You can't just add random letters to make it into a verb."

Olivia pouted. "Why not?"

"The rules of English grammar just don't work that way."

Olivia raised her hands in surrender. "Okay, okay. You win." Gingerly, she sat back down on her chair. "Truce."

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Sure."

"Anyway," she said, changing the subject. "Do you know which of your thirty-seven ballroom gowns you're going to be wearing to the spring dance?"

Alex looked down her nose at Olivia. "Twelve, to be exact. And to answer your question, none of the above."

"Surprise me," said Abbie dryly. "What _are _you wearing?"

Alex smirked. "A new dress."

Trevor looked disappointed. "Why don't you wear your red dress? It's _sexy_."

Alex rolled her eyes and Olivia gave Alex her patented lopsided grin. "Which red dress?"

Alex sighed. "I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer."

"You know, if you sent half of your wardrobe to impoverished African children, you could clothe an entire village," commented Olivia. Before Alex could say anything, she turned to Abbie and asked, "What are you wearing?"

Abbie shrugged. "I'm not going."

"How come?"

She tried to pretend she didn't care, but she couldn't quite keep the longing from her voice as she answered, "I don't have anyone to go with."

"Hey, can we join in on this conversation?" cut in Elliot.

"All right. Do you have anything meaningful to contribute to our discussion?" Alex fired back. "Aside from basketball statistics or whatever it is you like to talk about."

He took it personally. "Hey!"

She smirked. "That's what I thought."

"Okay, fine. So how did you manage to get rid of stalker-boy?"

Alex glanced at Abbie, whose face was set. She turned back to Elliot. "We're not going to talk about him."

"Ah, so decisive. What do _you _want to talk about?"

"You know what? Let's not talk. Let's just sit in silence for a few peaceful moments."

Elliot quirked an eyebrow. "I'll believe it when I see it." He turned to Trevor and held out his hand. "Ten bucks your girlfriend can't keep her mouth shut for ten minutes."

Trevor shook it. "I have faith in her. You're on."

Alex crossed her arms over her chest. "Hey!"

Elliot grinned and winked at Trevor. "You lose. Ten bucks, please."

"Hey, no fair!" protested Trevor. "You hadn't said go yet."

"I don't want to be your lucrative scheme," snapped Alex. "And my silence is worth more than ten dollars."

"Of course," agreed Elliot. "What were we thinking?"

Alex scowled and turned to Jack, who'd been silent throughout this whole verbal joust. "How much do you think my silence is worth?"

Jack shrugged. "Priceless."

"See, _that _is a good answer," crowed Alex. "Trevor, watch and learn." She grinned at Jack. "If I dump him, will you get with me?"

He thought about it for a moment. "No."

Alex stared at him and Abbie got the distinct impression that _no _wasn't a word Alex Cabot was used to hearing. "What do you mean, _no_?"

He smiled good-naturedly. "I don't date blondes."

Alex smirked. "I defy every blonde stereotype in existence, so I think we're good."

"It isn't particularly attractive to hit on a boy when you're already in a relationship," said Jack mildly.

Alex raised her eyebrows, but didn't say a word.

"Hey, Alex, I think you've met your match!" teased Olivia. "Are you _speechless_?"

Alex rolled her eyes. "Of course not. I'm just not even going to dignify that with a response. Have you ever seen me speechless before?"

"I have," cut in Abbie.

Alex shot her an icy glare. "That doesn't count."

"Why not?"

"Extenuating circumstances."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Stop it with the legal-speak."

"The actual word is _legalese_," Alex corrected her.

Olivia tsk-tsked. "Sometimes you are nothing short of obnoxious."

"I think _incorrigible _is the word you're looking for."

Olivia shrugged. "That too. Who says there's a limit on how many negative adjectives I can use to describe you?"

"Remind me again why we're friends," said Alex dryly.

"Because I'm irresistible," answered Olivia with a crooked grin.

"Elliot certainly thinks so. But why are _we _friends?"

Olivia thought about it. "Hmm. That's a good question."

"I ask a lot of good questions."

"Oh, we know," cut in Trevor, raising an eyebrow.

"We weren't talking to you," Olivia told him.

"Well, it's certainly not for your charm," Alex said mildly. "Or your grace. Or your tact."

Olivia smiled sweetly and gave Alex a hug. "You don't have to have a reason for loving me."

Alex nodded her agreement. "Who can explain it? Who can tell you why? Fools give you reasons; wise men never try."

Olivia frowned. "I have a feeling that's not entirely original."

Alex shrugged. "I guess not. Hammerstein. Good ear."

"Impressive," commented Abbie. "I would have thought you would only be able to quote politicians or something."

Alex looked down her nose at Abbie. "I can quote anyone when I want to. Being the nerd I am, I've read whole books of quotes."

"When the dictionary got too boring," added Olivia.

Alex threw her head back and sighed. "And you call me incorrigible!"

"Actually, you called yourself incorrigible," commented Olivia.

"No, I said that was probably the word you were looking for. I can't help your ineloquence."

Olivia groaned. "I forgot rule number one: never start an argument with Alex Cabot unless you want your ass kicked into the next week."

"True, true," agreed Alex.

"Anyway, back to the subject at hand."

"What was the subject at hand?"

"Dance dresses," Olivia reminded her.

"You need to give me a segue sometimes, Liv."

Olivia sighed. "I'm guessing you're waiting for me to ask you what a segue is. Not asking."

"I'll take the bait," volunteered Elliot. "What's a segue?"

"It's a smooth transition from one topic to another," answered Jack before Alex could open her mouth. She gave him a dirty look, which made him smirk. "You're not the only one with an extensive vocabulary."

Alex folded her arms over her chest. "Or so I'm told."

"Anyways, the dress," repeated Olivia.

"We're going shopping on Saturday. Do you want to come?"

"Sure. Kate won't mind – I'll text her."

"You can come too, Abbie," offered Alex.

She shrugged. "I don't know. I don't have anyone to go with."

"That might change."

"Pigs might fly, too. The last boyfriend – the _only _boyfriend – I've had was Damien and look how that turned out."

"Bad luck isn't necessarily a deterrent to potential boyfriends," commented Alex.

"But why shouldn't I have some more of it?"

Alex cocked her head. "Do you consider yourself a realistic pessimist or a pessimistic realist?"

"The latter," replied Abbie seriously. "What's the difference?"

Alex sighed. "Do you really want an answer?"

"No," interrupted Olivia. "We don't." She turned to Abbie. "We'll meet at Alex's on Saturday. You, too."

Abbie sighed, conceding. She had no chance against both of them. "Fine."

And that night, for the first night in months, she slept like a baby.

**Review for chapter fifteen!**


	15. Chapter 15

**I'm very, very, **_**very **_**sorry that it's been such a long time since my last update. I've been busy working on a couple of my other stories and actually living my life instead of spending all my time on fanfiction! (Yes, I do have a life – well an almost life?) My next updates might be sporadic because we're going to New York soon (which I'm soooo excited about and if I could I would spend all my time there stalking the SVU set, but I'm pretty sure my dad won't let me) and the day after we get back, school is starting. *sigh* Such is life.**

Jack stopped Abbie in the hallway the next day. He looked nervous – uncharacteristically so, and that made Abbie nervous too.

Jack cleared his throat. "I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come to the spring dance with me."

Abbie winced. "I don't need a sympathy date, Jack. But thanks for asking."

"It's not a sympathy date. I want to go with you."

Abbie tried to gauge whether or not he was being genuine. "Really?"

"Why not?"

Abbie thought about it. Did she want to go with him? She did, but was she ready for a commitment? Or was she ready to give him the idea that she might be ready for a commitment? For her, going to a dance was a big deal. With some people, they could go with their best friends and it didn't mean anything, but to Abbie, it was a huge decision. Finally, she agreed. "Sure."

Jack grinned and took her hands in his. "Great." His enthusiasm was genuine, and she smiled back.

She was beaming as she plopped down in her seat in science class, beside Olivia, who raised her eyebrows. "What are you so happy about?"

"You need a reason to be sad. You don't need a reason to be happy." She smirked. "Louis Sachar. I can quote famous people too."

Olivia heaved a theatrical sigh. "Okay, spill."

"Jack asked me to the dance."

"No way!"

"Yup."

"That's awesome." Then something else occurred to Olivia. "So are you going?"

"Of course."

"You need a dress."

"Thanks for pointing that out, Einstein," said Abbie sarcastically. "I hadn't even thought about it."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "You never change, do you?"

"Not recently, no."

"You're incorrigible."

"Yes, _Alex_, I'm sure I am."

"Anyway, we'll go out and get dresses this weekend. You need someone with good taste."

Abbie rolled her eyes. "Don't flatter yourself."

"I didn't mean me! I meant Alex."

"Anything that she likes, I'm sure neither of us would be able to afford."

Olivia sighed. "Why do you do that?"

"What?"

"With Alex, it isn't _all _about the money."

"I know. I don't – I mean, we aren't poor, but we don't have much here. We had a lot more in Texas."

Olivia gave her a wry smile. "Jealous?"

"Yes," admitted Abbie. "I'm surprised you're not."

Olivia shrugged. "We've known each other since kindergarten. I gave this kid a black eye for teasing her about being a nerd. She was smarter than everyone else and she didn't even try to hide it, which was probably stupid, but whatever. She read chapter books while we were learning our alphabet. We've been inseparable ever since."

Abbie smirked. "I guess opposites _do _attract."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Can I copy your homework?"

Abbie shrugged. "Sure, but it's probably all wrong. You could do it yourself – properly – in the same amount of time."

"Thanks, but no thanks. Mr. Prinze is going to come around checking homework and he's going to kill me when he realizes I don't have it done."

"Why didn't you do it?"

"We went out for Kate's birthday and didn't get home until late. I finished my English and my math, but I didn't quite get around to my science. Prioritizing, you know?"

Abbie handed over her science sheet. "Your Royal Highness."

Olivia smiled sweetly. "Thanks, Abbie."

* * *

On Saturday, Abbie had her mother drop her off at Alex's apartment. Mrs. Carmichael was glad that first of all, Abbie was going to the dance, and secondly, that she was actually spending the day with her friends.

Olivia was already there, lounging on Alex's bed as the blonde did her nails. "Are you done yet?" she griped.

Alex rolled her eyes and turned toward Abbie. "Hi, Abbie." She looked back at Olivia. "They won't be done for another fifteen minutes or so." As Olivia started to blow on them to speed up the process, Alex stopped her. "Don't blow on them! They won't dry properly."

Olivia made a face. "Hi, Abbie," she said. "I guess we're not going anywhere for fifteen minutes."

Abbie shrugged and perched on the side of the bed next to Alex. "Fine. Is your mom taking us, Alex?"

Alex shook her head. "She's at some charity gala with the Manhattan elite."

Abbie glanced at Olivia, tsk-tsking. "She does it herself!"

Olivia grinned and shrugged her shoulders, and Alex looked from one to the other and crossed her arms. "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing," said Abbie quickly. "Who's driving us, then?"

"Her driver," Olivia replied.

Abbie rolled her eyes. "Is your name Alex?"

Olivia thought about it, clearly trying to come up with something snarky, but she finally settled on, "No."

Abbie smirked. "Right." She sprawled out on her stomach and folded her hands behind her head, snickering at the look on Olivia's face as she waited for the nail polish to dry.

"So are we taking the BMW?" asked Olivia, a mischievous glint in her eye.

Alex looked down her nose at the brunette. "We don't _have _a BMW."

"Oh, _right_. You have a Lamborghini, a Mercedes-Benz . . . oh, am I missing something?"

"The stretch limousine," replied Alex with a grin. "My mom's out in it."

Olivia shrugged. "The Lamborghini works for me. Someday, I'm going to have one of my own."

"Someday, you're going to become a movie star," Alex told her. "And you're going to have a house in the Hamptons and your own yacht and private jet and whatever else it is you want."

"And someday you're going to be a diplomat or the president or something."

"Or the queen," added Abbie.

"Or the queen," agreed Alex.

"You'd be a good queen," commented Olivia. "You know, you're bossy and annoying as hell, but you are eloquent and very photogenic. Oh, and did I mention rich?"

Alex laughed.

"Can we go now?"

"No," said Alex. "Your nails aren't dry yet?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "I never understand why you have such a fascination with doing my nails. Just do your own. Or Abbie's."

Abbie clasped her hands protectively behind her back. "You're not getting anywhere _near _my fingernails!"

"I never understand why neither of you like manicures," remarked Alex. "I love them."

"You could have your own manicurist if you wanted one," said Olivia, rolling her eyes.

"But that would defeat the whole purpose," Alex explained patiently.

"What _is _the whole purpose?" asked Abbie.

Alex sighed. "Do you really want me to explain it to you?"

"She doesn't," said Olivia quickly. "I don't care if my nails are dry or not. I want to leave!"

Alex fixed her with a disapproving glare. "You just want to ride in the sports car."

"Yup," agreed Olivia unashamedly.

Alex rolled her eyes. "What if I told you we were walking?"

"Then I wouldn't want to come with you," said Olivia, shrugging unabashedly.

Alex shook her head. "You're something else."

Olivia smiled proudly. "I know."

Alex sighed. "Fine. You win. I'll go get James."

As Alex got off the bed and left, Olivia turned to Abbie with an almost star struck look in her eyes. "Did you hear that, Abbie? _I won._ Alex actually told me I won!"

Abbie laughed. "That's such a big deal to you, winning an argument with Alex?"

Olivia shrugged again. "I'm competitive by nature. So sue me."

"Put on your shoes," Alex ordered when she came back into her bedroom.

"Yes, _ma'am_," said Olivia, rolling her eyes as she complied, Abbie doing the same.+

They walked outside where the car was waiting, and Abbie had to admit, it was quite a beauty. It was a silver convertible and it looked _powerful_.

Alex climbed into the passenger seat and Abbie and Olivia climbed into the backseat. Alex told the driver where they wanted to go and they were off.

Abbie closed her eyes and folded her hands behind her head. "I could get used to this," she commented.

"Someday," agreed Olivia. "After I've made my third million, I'll invite you up to my mansion in the Hamptons and take you out on my eighty-foot yacht and drive you around in my Porsche convertible. I would invite Alex too, except she's used to that already so it won't mean anything to her."

"Hey! I heard that!" called Alex from the front seat, pretending to be offended. "I invite you up to my parents' yacht in the summer."

Abbie rolled her eyes. "Only the social elite make the distinction between their money and their parents' money."

"True, true," agreed Alex good-naturedly.

They arrived at the mall and Alex told James she'd call him when they needed to be picked up. Abbie remembered her manners and said, "Thank you for the ride."

"Thanks, James," added Olivia, then hopped out of the car, turning and watching it drive away with a look of slight longing on her face.

"You want that car, don't you?" teased Alex.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Am I that obvious?" As they went inside, she added, "No Armani or whatever. Stick within our price range."

Alex shrugged. "You give me such a hard time about being an 'elitist,' but you actually make a bigger deal of it than I do."

Olivia shrugged, too. "I'm jealous," she said honestly.

Alex rolled her eyes. "I noticed."

They walked around the mall, going in and out of different stores, mostly just browsing, until Olivia commanded, "Stop."

Alex and Abbie stopped. "What?" asked Abbie.

Olivia pointed at a black halter dress in the window. "That's my dress."

Alex and Abbie exchanged glances. "Okay, go try it on."

Olivia found the right size for the dress and went into the changing room. She came out a moment later, modeling the dress for her friends. "Mine!" she said possessively.

"It's nice," Abbie told her.

"It flatters you," added Alex, smug at having used more colorful vocabulary than Abbie, who rolled her eyes.

"I'm getting it," decided Olivia, glancing from Alex to Olivia as if daring one of them to contradict her. Neither said a word.

They spent the next few hours shopping, and they all managed to find dresses and shoes to match. Alex said she would lend Olivia a necklace to wear with her dress, because she had more jewelry than anyone they knew.

When they got back to Alex's apartment, they modeled their dresses again, along with the shoes and jewelry they were going to wear. "Trevor's going to think you're beautiful," Olivia told Alex.

Alex smiled. "Elliot's going to think _you're _beautiful."

Olivia shrugged dismissively. "Elliot already thinks I'm beautiful." She smiled back. "I _am _beautiful."

Abbie rolled her eyes. "And so modest, too."

"I have many virtues," agreed Olivia.

"Patience isn't one of them," teased Abbie.

"Definitely not."

They admired themselves in the mirror for a few moments, then changed back into their street clothes and played Monopoly until Abbie's mother arrived to pick her up.

"'Bye, Liv. Thanks for taking us out, Alex," said Abbie politely, because she knew her mother was listening.

Mrs. Carmichael nodded approvingly. "Can I see your dress?"

"When we get home," replied Abbie, following her mother downstairs.

"When's the dance?"

"Friday," Abbie told her.

"Who are you going with?"

"Jack. Jack McCoy." Seeing her mother's confusion, she added, "You don't know him."

"Is he cute?"

Abbie rolled her eyes. "Honestly, sometimes you act more like a teenager than I do. But yes, he's cute."

Mrs. Carmichael smiled. "Well, I'm glad you're going."

"We're going to Alex's house first. Her driver's going to take us."

Abbie's mother raised an eyebrow. "Her _driver_?"

Abbie shrugged. "Didn't you see the size of their place? They have _money_."

Mrs. Carmichael chuckled lightly. "Must be nice."

"Uh huh," agreed Abbie.

When they got home, Abbie showed her mother her dress. It was a mixture between navy and violet, and it had spaghetti straps. "You look gorgeous," Mrs. Carmichael told her, kissing Abbie's forehead.

Abbie smiled. "Thanks, Mom." She wasn't used to being on such good terms with her mother. It was kind of . . . nice. Then she noticed her mother had tears in her eyes. "What?"

"Nothing. You just look so grown up."

Abbie rolled her eyes. "Aren't you supposed to say that at my prom or my graduation or my wedding or something?"

Mrs. Carmichael smiled. "I can say it more than once."

"I'm excited about the dance," Abbie confessed.

"So? That's a good thing."

Abbie paused, realizing a second too late that she shouldn't voice her answer, that she shouldn't tell her mother that she hadn't been excited about _anything _in a very long time. So all she said was, "I know."

**Review for chapter sixteen!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Wow, I know it's been a long time, but I've been busy. I think this is going to be the last chapter. Enjoy!**

Alex, Olivia, and Abbie were in Alex's bedroom, getting dressed for the dance. Alex had a beautiful turquoise dress that set off her eyes, Olivia was wearing her short black halter dress (and Abbie noted with satisfaction that her back and shoulders were free of bruises and scars) and Abbie herself had on a V-necked, spaghetti-strap dress that was halfway between navy and violet.

"Stay still so I can do your eyeliner," Alex instructed Olivia, pushing her back down so she was sitting still on the bed. Olivia huffed but obliged, allowing Alex to finish with her makeup.

"I have actually never seen you wear makeup before, Liv," commented Abbie, quirking an eyebrow.

"I've never seen _you _wear makeup before," Olivia countered.

Abbie smirked. "I never needed any. My eyes have natural purple rims!"

They all laughed at that. "Elliot's going to think you're absolutely gorgeous – if you stay still," Alex told Olivia disapprovingly. "Otherwise he'll wonder why there's a black line going through your eyebrow."

Olivia shrugged. "I'll tell him it's a tattoo. You know, to look like Harry Potter's scar."

Alex rolled her eyes. "You're –"

"Incorrigible," finished Olivia. "We _know_."

Alex pouted. "That actually wasn't what I was going to say. I was _going _to say that you're hopeless."

"Which is the same thing, according to that book Alex has, called _How To Talk Like A Walking Dictionary_."

Alex looked offended. "I do not!"

"Truce," said Abbie, raising her hands. "Mind clasping my necklace, Alex? I can't reach."

"Sure," agreed Alex, complying with Abbie's request. "Uh oh. I did it upside down."

Abbie rolled her eyes. "Fix it." When Alex didn't do as she'd asked, Abbie added, "Please."

Alex obeyed. "Better?"

Abbie nodded. "Thank you, Alex," she said sweetly.

Olivia blew a raspberry. "Oh, please."

"That isn't very ladylike," said Alex primly.

Olivia stuck her tongue out at Alex. "Screw you."

"I think Trevor might get jealous."

Olivia threw a pillow at her. "Get your mind out of the gutter, Cabot!"

Alex easily deflected the pillow. "You started it."

"Ah, so mature. How did I manage to reduce the formidable Alex Cabot to the comeback we all used in second grade – you started it?"

Alex smiled sweetly. "I'm rubber and you're glue. Everything you say bounces off me and sticks to you."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "True. We all really _did _use that one in second grade."

Abbie rolled her eyes. "Guys, we have to leave in ten minutes!"

Alex shrieked. "I'm not ready! Help me with my dress, Abbie."

Abbie smirked as she did up the zipper on Alex's dress. "You know, half of your hair is straight and half of it is curly. Are you planning on keeping it that way?"

Alex's eyes widened. "No! Shit, I don't have time to finish curling it. Ugh. Liv, could you grab me my flat iron? I'll just leave it straight."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "So demanding." She handed Alex the flat iron. "You're so slow."

"I want to look perfect."

"Trevor already thinks you are."

"He's right."

Olivia threw another pillow at her. "And modest too."

"Liv," whined Alex, catching the pillow and putting it back on the bed. "You're destroying my bed."

Olivia shrugged. "Hurry up, Alex! We're going to be late!"

"Since when are _you _Ms. Punctual?"

"Since we're meeting _my _boyfriend at the dance!"

"Elliot's not going to care."

"Well, he should."

Alex sighed. "As you wish."

* * *

They arrived at the dance fashionably late. It was mostly a casual event, but the boys were mostly wearing suits. Jack was waiting for Abbie and handed her half a dozen red roses when she arrived. "For you," he said, almost shyly.

She took them and smiled. "Thanks, Jack." Shy was not generally within Jack's repertoire of expressions, and it was almost endearing.

"You look beautiful."

She was startled for a moment, tensing up, but then took the compliment at face value and relaxed. "Thanks," she said softly.

He held out his hand. "Join me?"

Abbie smiled. "With pleasure."

They danced the night away, and it was the best time Abbie had had in a long time. Tonight, she could forget about _him _and what _he_ had done to her. Tonight, she wasn't broken or damaged or afraid. It was just her and Jack, swaying with the music, and it was perfect.

**So I think that's the end. Review if you enjoyed this story!**


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